This post is part of a virtual book tour of the LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TRIPS series, How to React When Woken at 3am by Drunk Argentinian Backpackers While Staying in a Youth Hostel and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips by Simon Yeats. The author will be awarding a $25 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Book 4 of an original and hilarious book series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about them.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as COVID hysteria in the early part of this decade.

From how to negotiate traffic in Los Angeles when your car can only drive at 5 miles/hr, to what to do when locked out of your hotel room in your underwear, to the emotions of attempting the world’s second highest bungee when you have a pathological fear of heights, to how to deal with the trials and tribulations of staying in a youth hostel with travelers who have no respect for the other guests.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to empty your bank account, get squeezed sitting in a middle airline seat, or deal with border security at the Ukraine/Russia boundary.

Enjoy an Excerpt

Big Wednesday was my first day at work as a liftie on the Burgess Creek lift at the Steamboat ski resort as a wide-eyed 20-year-old. I do not remember the exact date, but I am absolutely certain it was a Wednesday because everyone who was present at the resort that day referred to it as ‘big Wednesday.’

Overnight, between ‘ordinary Tuesday’ and ‘big Wednesday,’ the town and resort received a mammoth amount of snowfall. It absolutely dumped. A biblical amount of snow. Even though I do not recall snow being mentioned once in either the old testament or the new testament. But I could have missed the reference.

And Moses went up the mountain at God’s direction and there was fresh dump of powder snow, and he cried out, “ye verily, gonna cut me some wicked turns.”

To get to work on my first day, I take the shortcut straight down the hill to the main road and bus stop. I am decked out in my official Steamboat resort onesie ski suit. The snow level is over my belly button. It is like wading through waist high surf for a half mile.

I scramble onto the bus, and I am on my knees huffing and puffing while dripping with sweat.

An inauspicious start to the day.

About the Author:
Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. A randomly drawn winner will be awarded a $25 Amazon/BN gift card. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

The Lesser Known Travel Tips memoirs are a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about them.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Spanish Flu in 1918 or hordes of Mongols in 12th Century.

From how to keep yourself entertained when unwittingly forced to watch 11 hours of live sumo wrestling in Japan, to surviving heartbreak in India at the hands of a French flight attendant, to 48 hours spent in Nepal that qualify as the funniest most gut wrenching travel experience since Captain Bligh was set adrift in the Pacific, to his unsuccessful attempts at avoiding going to a brothel in Thailand. From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast. From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to break a leg, contract Dengue fever, or rupture a pancreas.

Enjoy an Excerpt from How to Start a Riot in a Brothel in Thailand by Ordering a Beer and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips

My family’s most cherished vacation when we were all kids was a trip we took to the South Island of New Zealand in the southern hemisphere Autumn of 1980. All our relatives live on the north island where my mum and dad both grew up on dairy farms. So, we had already made a trip or two to Auckland in my young life. My parents had emigrated to live in the tropical heat and brutal humidity of the northeast of Australia before any of us kids were born and given a choice in the matter.

There are four of us in my family. An elder brother, an older sister, me, and a younger sister. Each of us is quite different in our personality and our interests. My older sister is the athlete. My younger sister is the diplomat. My brother is the brainiac. Me? Well, I tend to just sit back and let my siblings be in the limelight.

You can imagine me as being the little kid running around in the playground under a mop of red hair being extra polite with all the other kids and no one teasing me at all for having red hair. Something close to that.

But among me and my siblings, none of us ever stole a car and took off for a joy ride. None of us have ever been arrested by undercover police for trying to sell them synthetic crack cocaine we had cooked up in the basement. None of us ever got in trouble for mislabeling someone by using the wrong pronoun. I mean, sure, I once got in trouble for calling my headmaster the C-word, but, other than that small blemish on my record, I considered myself an exemplary student. Our mum and dad were amazing parents to raise us all so well.

We were a very content family growing up in the 70’s and 80’s while living in the sweltering pizza oven, otherwise known as North Queensland. What about central air conditioning? Oh, how entitled and twenty-first century of you to ask. Rubbing an ice cube across the forehead and asking my younger sister to blow against it. Does that count? Central air conditioning? No. There was none. Just like there was extraordinarily little to do in my hometown. Watching paint dry as a kid living in Townsville brought out the same level of unbridled fascination that I now see with adults viewing porn.

The reasoning behind there being nothing to do is obvious. It is not safe to do anything where I lived. Australian country towns are just holding pens for human beings surrounded by a natural species menagerie of death.

About the Author: Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Welcome to the cover reveal of Book Four of the LESSER KNOWN TRAVEL TRIPS series, How to React When Woken at 3am by Drunk Argentinian Backpackers While Staying in a Youth Hostel and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips. The author will be awarding a $20 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Book 4 of the hilarious book series that those in the know will want to read when arriving at Paris airport so they laugh so freaking hard that it will intimidate any suspicious characters looking to abduct them and sell them into the human trafficking game.

Life was not meant to be easy, Simon Yeats’ father used to tell him. Well, it sure as hell was not meant to be this bizarre and witty. Australian ex-pat Simon Yeats shares his stories of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection with comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living his life abroad. All while having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as Mongol hordes in the 12th century.

From how to negotiate getting abused in Los Angeles when you will only drive at 5 miles/hr., to what to do when locked out of your hotel room in your underwear, to the emotions of attempting the world’s second highest bungee when you have a pathological fear of heights, to how to deal with the trials and tribulations of staying in a youth hostel with travelers who have no respect for the other guests.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to empty your bank account, get squeezed sitting in a middle airline seat, or deal with border security at the Ukraine/Russia boundary..

Read an Excerpt

Big Wednesday was my first day at work as a liftie on the Burgess Creek lift at the Steamboat ski resort as a wide-eyed 20-year-old. I do not remember the exact date, but I am absolutely certain it was a Wednesday because everyone who was present at the resort that day referred to it as ‘big Wednesday.’

Overnight, between ‘ordinary Tuesday’ and ‘big Wednesday,’ the town and resort received a mammoth amount of snowfall. It absolutely dumped. A biblical amount of snow. Even though I do not recall snow being mentioned once in either the old testament or the new testament. But I could have missed the reference.

And Moses went up the mountain at God’s direction and there was fresh dump of powder snow, and he cried out, “ye verily, gonna cut me some wicked turns.”

To get to work on my first day, I take the shortcut straight down the hill to the main road and bus stop. I am decked out in my official Steamboat resort onesie ski suit. The snow level is over my belly button. It is like wading through waist high surf for a half mile.

I scramble onto the bus, and I am on my knees huffing and puffing while dripping with sweat.

An inauspicious start to the day.

About the Author:
Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Simon Yeats is awarding a $25 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

We all have two lives. We only get to experience living in the second after we realize we only have just one.

I have my first real scare in life when I get attacked by a kangaroo when I am seven. My first brush with the cliff-face edge of death comes when I am 12. My dad drives the family down the dangerous Skipper’s Canyon dirt road in New Zealand in a rented minivan.

Including the occasion I am almost involved in two different plane flight crashes, in the same night, there have been at least a half dozen more occasions when I have been within a moment’s inattention of being killed.

However, none of those frightening incidents compare to what I experience after my son is abducted.

This memoir is the story of how I used the traumatic experiences of my life to give me strength to forge on during a 13 year fight to be a father to my son.

What did it take for me to get to my second life?
It took me to truly understand what fear is.

Enjoy an Excerpt

How does a second life differ from a first? My story of reaching the second will demonstrate it perfectly for those languishing in the latter. I guarantee the perception of your life will never be the same after reading about it.

What did it take for me to get to a second life?

Was it an occasion of cheating death? Was it multiple occasions of evading the grim reaper? Was it being arrested and thrown in jail for no reason?

Perhaps a better question might be. How much do I love my child? What am I willing to go through to be in my child’s only life?

Until recently, I had never even heard of this saying by Confucius. But, when a person sees something that resonates with a chord in their heart, they feel it.

I felt it like an earthquake.

Before then, I had never given thought to who I might have ever met that I would consider was living a second life.

Yet this would seem to be our very point of being.

While there have been many occasions in my existence when I have felt like the world is against me. The true nature of life often seems a cruel device. Callous. Savagely unforgiving. And the puppeteer of fate in control of all our lives does not seem to care that we do not want it to be this way.

How many people would admit that they are suffering during their first life?

Rhetorical question.

We all are. Some more than others. But we all are.

Not surprisingly then, that humanity thrives on the ever-unfolding tragedies around us. The devastation of the tsunami in Thailand. The OJ Simpson trial. World War Two concentration camps. The collective work of The Cure and The Smiths.

If it bleeds, it leads.

This is what people want to see.

But the hordes in their first life are primarily concerned with the suffering of the mighty.

However, many of us are not mighty.

Most of us are ordinary.

And the suffering in our first life is done in silence.

About the Author:

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

a Rafflecopter giveaway