This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win a high quality blank [writing] journal and pen
Winter Wonder: Holidays Without My Mom by Laura Moseley
“A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” – Cardinal Meymillod
My mother fought ovarian cancer and fought valiantly. She beat Stage IV cancer once, was in remission for over eighteen months…and then I received a phone call I never wanted to hear. My Dad stated, “Your mother’s cancer numbers are not getting better. She’s decided not to continue treatment, babe.”
“Um,” I said trying to clear my throat instead of sobbing. “So, she’s…dying?”
“Well, essentially, yes. The doctors give her two to six months, honey. She says if her treatment is not working, and all its doing is making her sick, she doesn’t want to live that way,” he explained.
I was numb after that phone call. My head knew she was right, but I was having the damnedest time convincing my heart. She was living life on her terms, which I respected, but also living on borrowed time.
We spent Easter with her, where she got to see all of us and to see and hold her great-grandson for the first and last time. She was small and shrunken and a pale shade of yellow, and yet she was the most beautiful and brave soul I’d ever seen. She was happy we were all together, but she was also unafraid.
She passed away in June and I am bereft. I mean, I’m nearly fifty years old, but I feel like a small lost child who got separated from her mother at a department store. I simply don’t know where to turn. I could always talk to her about all aspects of being a mother. She never judged me harshly and always had a proposed solution when I was talking out my dilemmas, even concerning mothering a child on the autism spectrum (which she never had to do herself). Now, all my conversations are one-sided. Now, all my questions go unanswered by anyone but me. Now, I am the elder Mom, the grand dame. I am the one who is supposed to have all the answers…
What are the winter holidays going to be like without her???? She has always been a key role in the holidays, just as prominent as Santa Claus himself. She made things happen: she cooked, she decorated, she wrapped presents, she sang, and she recounted stories of holidays past. What NOW?
Of course, she will be there. In spirit, in stories, and fellowship. She is a part of everyone in my family, so naturally, she is there with us. It’s definitely not going to be the same and may be very difficult at times. I believe that Thanksgiving, Chanukah, and Christmas — the three most family-oriented holidays allow our loved ones to come and sit amongst us again.
I just know that it will NEVER be quite the same celebration again…as I feel as though winter has set in on my emotions, but I will carry on because I am now a Nana and with my new grandson, Christmas will regain its magic once more…
Battle-Scars: Hated. Isolated. Wronged. Disregarded.
Those WERE some of the challenges faced by the authors of GOD Says I am Battle-Scar Free.
PRIZED! ESTEEMED! CHOSEN! POLISHED!
With a personal relationship with God, that is how those same people feel today.
In this seventh and final installment of the Battle-Scar Free series, testimonies are shared from women and men who have “been there, done that.” They come from various walks of life but share one common story: They are SURVIVORS.
Amid a global pandemic (COVID-19), these contributors sought and found healing of their hearts, minds, and souls. Through the expression of their truths, you will be inspired to fight another day. Despite the obstacles they faced, the power of their words and belief in an Almighty God attributed to their very survival.
A single mother of three and grandmother of one, as well as a Domestic Violence/Sexual Violence survivor of over 23+ years of abuse. She works for a federal social services organization by day and is a certified DV advocate in the rest of her spare time. She is a writer, blogger, future podcaster, activist, and public speaker. She loves getting her story out there, to help show victims and survivors that there is hope and that it is SO much better than ever imagined while in active abuse.
Buy the book at Amazon.
sad post
Very sad. I recently lost grandma to pancreas cancer in August. The holidays just aren’t the same. 😢
I’m sorry for your lose. It is sad when we lose someone close to us and they are especially missed during the holidays.