The Golden Age of Everything by Richard Moore

The Golden Age of Everything by Richard Moore
Publisher: Self-Published
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Paranormal, Horror, Action/Adventure
Length: Short Story (36 pages)
Rating: 3 Stars
Reviewed by Astilbe

One billion years in the future, Ritch Speerat seeks psychological help for his nightmares. On his way to his therapist, he meets The Hortboy. Ritch shares with The Hortboy his love of ancient history, specifically an age one billion years in the past which he calls ‘the golden age of everything’. The Hortboy is charmed by this age and shares it with everyone he knows. It soon goes viral.

Ritch’s therapist informs him that there are three ways to cure him of his nightmares: suicide, murder, and The One True Law. Ritch, a good guy, chooses The One True Law. Ritch must retrieve The One True Law, overcoming many obstacles, and expose the source of his nightmares to its justice. Maybe his unique knowledge of ‘the golden age of everything’ will help him.

On his journey Ritch encounters giant pizza-delivering rodents, enchanted roadways, weird spells, strange magic items, golden skyscrapers, a singing/dancing army, ghastly demons, villainous cannibals, multiple One True Laws, a pot smoking dragon, and a group of frat boys, all of which come together like water in a funnel.
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A study in contrasts, The Golden Age of Everything juxtaposes: mature psychological issues with sophomoric humor, emotional abandonment with serendipitous friendship, beautiful dreams with terrible nightmares, girl parts with boy parts; you get the idea.

Written with the structural vigor of a sonnet, the calculated efficiency of a computer program, and the offbeat humor of a freak, The Golden Age of Everything is sure to enhance the golden age that is your life.

Ritch isn’t exactly a typical fantasy hero. That’s okay, though, because this isn’t a typical quest.

As soon as I learned about Ritch’s sad backstory, I felt a great deal of sympathy for him. Figuring out what his life had once been like made it much easier to understand who he’d become by the time the first scene in this tale began. He had serious reasons for behaving the way he did, and I couldn’t fault him for his flaws at all once I realized why they’d developed in the first place. They made sense, and I probably would have acted the same way if I were him.

There were so many run-on sentences in this story that I had a hard time following what was happening in it. Many sentences could be interpreted in more than one way, and others were difficult to understand no matter which way I read them. While I enjoyed the plot itself, all of these errors were pretty distracting. I would have felt comfortable choosing a higher rating if this wasn’t the case.

Mr. Moore had a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that shone through many of the scenes in this book. I’d usually never expect to laugh at something that has so many dark themes running through it, but I couldn’t help but to chuckle at this one. There were multiple moments that were both funny and horrifying at the same time.

I’d recommend The Golden Age of Everything to anyone who likes satirical and irreverent science fiction.