How to Handle Negative Criticism by Katie Groom – Guest Blog and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. The author will be awarding a $10 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

How to Handle Negative Criticism

As a writer — or any creative — it is tough to take criticism because our art is so connected to us. It’s something that we create from within our own minds, so it really is a part of us. I used to be very susceptible to negative comments, but then I started to live my life within two — I don’t know; I wouldn’t quite call them motivational quotes, so maybe — modes of operation.

1. Don’t take criticism from someone whom you wouldn’t take advice from.
2. The subtle art of not caring what others think.

The first one of these is quite simple. If I was a surgeon, I wouldn’t take advice from a math teacher about how to perform a highly specialized surgery, so I wouldn’t take their criticism on my surgery skills either. In a similar vein, if someone has never written a book or, even more unbelievably, has never read a book, I’m not going to take their criticism either.

Now, if the person offering the criticism is someone that I’ve built a relationship with — someone that I have grown to trust and respect, then while the negative criticism may sting, it is surely coming from a place of caring and respect as well. That certainly makes it easier to take, after a period of reflection.

The great thing about any criticism is that we can decide how to take it, even if that means letting it go. Sometimes we get criticism that we just decide isn’t for us. For example (and to be honest, one of my favorite bits of negative criticism that I’ve received), a reviewer once stated that my book was “all rom — no com”, and I chose to laugh about this and remind myself that perhaps my sense of humor didn’t mesh with theirs. While I remember this criticism — and apparently I can’t let it go hahahaha — I’ve chosen to embrace it.

The second bit of advice (if you want to take it; not required, of course) has a little bit more work to it. The first part is making a list of anyone whose opinion you truly care about. Truly. Not the random cashier in the grocery store that you group the items on the cash register belt for so that he thinks you’re the best customer ever to come through the line. People that make a real impact on your life, such as your children, spouse, partner, parents, siblings, or best friend — people like that. People that if they told you that they were disappointed in you, it would crush you. My list consists of eight people. Eight. That’s right, a single digit number. And, for me, those people would only be disappointed if I was doing something unethical, illegal, intended to hurt someone, or against my own core beliefs.

You take that list of people, and you add to it “things I am required to do for my job”, because your job is your livelihood. If you lose that, you may not be able to eat or have shelter or other essentials, etc. Sometimes we have to do things for our job, and that’s just the facts. (Just as long as it isn’t unethical, illegal, intentionally hurting someone else, or against your core beliefs).

The rest of the world goes in a second column.

So any time you have to make a decision and you are on the fence of doing what you really want to do, think about whether the people on your short list would be disappointed in your decision; think about if making that decision would cost you your job. If the answers to these two questions are “no”, then do what you want.

Then all of the negative comments about your decision goes back to that first piece of advice — “don’t take criticism from someone whom you wouldn’t take advice from”. So, at that point, who cares? Your short list isn’t disappointed, and you have your livelihood, so… you’ve begun to master the subtle art of not caring what others think about you. You have started living life as your authentic self.

Reunited with his mate Zoie and having taken revenge on some of his immortal enemies, werewolf Hugh has new goals for revenge and justice: Ruin the lives of his remaining foes and end their reign.

The powerful Council of the immortal world has been imprisoning those who oppose them. But now, Hugh is one of the Council and perfectly poised to take the Council from the inside with the help of Zoie and their friends.

While Zoie is busy working on her witchcraft—studying and practicing so that she can protect her loved ones, Hugh probes for the secrets that have kept them in power for so long.

Investigating both openly and in secret, Hugh uncovers more than just the public terror. Even without the mock trials, those who disagreed with the Council often found themselves in the dark, lonely purgatory of being a gargoyle. Trapped and awake for all of eternity, in a rapidly expanding graveyard that ages all who enter.

Even immortals have things they fear more than death.

Enjoy an Excerpt

Visibly, yet quietly, annoyed, Hugh stood with his arms folded over his chest and a deep frown on his face. Still, this was his duty. Hugh held his place just off of the stage in the center of Nightbrooke.

The stage. That’s all it was, in his opinion. Everyone avoided even stepping on it when it was empty. Not out of respect, but out of fear. The only performances ever held on this stage were to overflow those who traveled through the underground world, secret from all mortals, with the certainty that if they put one toe-—one hair, one breath—out of line, they would be punished.

This place—Nightbrooke; Tenatoria; El Reino Mágico—

whatever it was called where that particular inhabitant was originally from—was intended to be a sanctuary for supernatural beings. It was supposed to be a safe place where they could be whatever they were without having to hide it. But this stage showed that this wasn’t sanctuary for everyone.

The only people who wanted to be on that stage were Hugh’s fellow council leaders. He had no desire to ever step foot on those ancient wooden boards, held together by even more ancient magic.

That’s why he hung off to the side. The others, however, relished these moments. Anything to see the fear in the eyes of the people they felt were a lower status than them.

Reon, King of the Abyss—the man who thought he was the King of Everything—was babbling on and on about the alleged crimes that the person before him had committed. He stood proudly on those wooden boards holding a scroll. He was nearly floating above the boards with joy. Hugh could hear Reon’s flutter from where he stood.

The difference between the two of them was a constant tension on the Council. They debated on opposite sides of every decision, to the point where Reon asked if Hugh was opposing him intentionally and just for the sake of being contentious.

About the Author: Katie Groom grew up in rural Pennsylvania, where she received her bachelor’s degree in Business Management from PITT and her master’s in Employment and Labor Relations from Indiana University of Pennsylvania. In 2016, she decided to move to Alabama in order to avoid as much snow as possible (and to advance her career in Human Resources).

When she isn’t working, Katie enjoys reading, writing, jokingly critiquing movies and TV, and campaigning that the plural of moose should be meese. She also loves to take in live music (especially Hanson) and traveling, with the goal of reaching each of the continents. Katie’s favorite pastime, however, is spending time with her beloved Shih tzu, Delta.

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Winter Blogfest: Katie Groom

This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win an ebook copy of Gibbous Moon by Katie Groom. 

Adjusting to Being Alone During the Holidays by Katie Groom

It can be very tough to be alone during the holiday season. When every ad is centered on family (not to mention that every book and movie set during these times seems to be focused on finding love or reconnecting with family or both).

Being that I am single and live nearly 1000 miles from my family, I was very worried about how I would handle my first holiday season alone. I had always been close with my family and we had plenty of traditions. And even though I was planning a trip between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it was still going to leave those major days vacant of plans and full of longing for my family.

Leading up to the first major US holiday of the season, I had found myself wondering if I would be longing for the embarrassing Thanksgiving tradition of my mother going around the table and forcing each of us to declare at least one thing that we are thankful for that year. The aim was always for one of us to make her cry with what we said it was never difficult; our mom has always been emotional, so it would have just taken one of us saying that we were thankful for our family.

What I decided to do for that first Thanksgiving alone was start my own tradition. I decided that I wasnt going to worry about the big meal, but rather, I was going to do something outside of the home. There was a Van Gogh immersive exhibit that was open. Seeing as I was already a fan of Van Goghs work, I decided to partake in that, and it was a wonderful experience! I was actually grateful to have the day off the job I had at the time was actually the first for me that allowed me to have holidays free. It was the first time that I was actually doing something for me.

From that experience, I decided that, whenever possible, I would take these important days days that it would be difficult to be alone and do something that brought me joy. Sometimes its been activities such as seeing a movie or cooking my favorite meal or reading a holiday themed book. Other times its been serving others a hot meal or spending the entire holiday season buying and wrapping gifts for children that would otherwise not receive them. Other times it was something else entirely.

On one hand, Ive started to treat these days just like they were any other days of the year, but, in another way, Ive chosen to create my own traditions. And, if youre someone that is dreading being alone on the holidays, I recommend that you, too, create some sort of new tradition for yourself, if you can.

Werewolf and professor of literature Hugh spent nearly 200 years to find his soulmate, Zoie, but others betrayed him, working with rivals to take her away in only an instant. Revenge was swift and unsatisfying. More people need to pay for what was stolen from Hugh.

Zoie’s death had been orchestrated by powerful beings in the supernatural world. Exacting revenge will require precision and planning.

Biding his time before acting, Hugh reverts to the patterns that finding true love had disrupted. Walking through life in a fog, he does his best to appear as if he is moving forward, though nothing feels the same.

As Hugh tries to start the next chapter in his life with Rosalie, he is haunted by the memory of Zoie. The literature professor cringes every time he’s reminded that Rosalie doesn’t like to read, but he tells himself that opposites should attract. That Rosalie can patch the hole left in his heart when Zoie died. His revenge will take time, and wallowing in grief won’t help.

Just as Hugh is still focused on revenge, his enemies are still plotting to harm Hugh further. It’s dangerous to oppose a bereaved werewolf, but even werewolves can be hurt.

Katie Groom grew up in rural Pennsylvania, where she received her bachelor’s degree in Business Management from PITT and her master’s in Employment and Labor Relations from Indiana University of Pennsylvania. In 2016, she decided to move to Alabama in order to avoid as much snow as possible (and to advance her career in Human Resources).

When she isn’t working, Katie enjoys reading, writing, jokingly critiquing movies and TV, and campaigning that the plural of moose should be meese. She also loves to take in live music (especially Hanson) and traveling, with the goal of reaching each of the continents. Katie’s favorite pastime, however, is spending time with her beloved Shih tzu, Delta.

 

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What Kind of Writer Am I? by Katie Groom – Guest Blog and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Katie Groom will be awarding a $10 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

What kind of writer am I?

I’m a time traveling writer.

I never write in order. My characters probably feel as if they are in one of those reverse bungee slingshot rides at the carnival, bouncing all around every which way, in the abyss that is my brain.

I do not start with a scene that’s at the beginning or the end — in the off chance that it does end up that way, it’s because I’ve discovered that I need to stop there and move on to another book in the series after writing all of the other scenes. I pick one that is somewhere in the middle that calls to me, and I write in a random pattern around that. Sometimes the scene that I start with never even makes it into the book. The very first thing that I wrote for Fixed Moon took place in London and was based on a real-life date that I had there — this never made it into the book.

As I write more, I also go back and edit what I’ve already written, so my characters have to revisit what they just went through yesterday or the day before, and sometimes it changes — just like memories sometimes gain a new light as one ages and experiences new things. Sometimes they become more vivid. More gruesome. And, rarely, they become happier.

There have been times where I’ve written something in Hugh’s point of view and had to re-write it in Zoie’s — and that throws them for a loop even more because it’s as if they’ve invaded each other’s memories. They get a taste of what the other is going through — even though they aren’t supposed to know.

What’s even worse is when I write something for the story I’m working on at the time, but it doesn’t work, so I pull it out and save it in my “bits and pieces” folder only to have a story completely unrelated utilize it. Imagine those characters as they find themselves placed into a stranger’s memory. It’s like dropping the little figure into Google maps and just walking around, trying to find the nearest airport, as if it was the latest social media challenge.

But the characters do fight back a little. I’ve written a scene about Hugh, and I didn’t like the decision he was making. I deleted it and started over, changing things but still getting us to that crossroad. He made the same choice again. And a third time. And a fourth. So, on the fifth time, I let that be the way that the chips fell.

Somehow the stories all fall together, and I swear that it’s some sort of witchcraft. It somehow starts as a group of scenes all tied together by the worked ELEPHANT (font sized 60; note: I use “elephant” so that I can quickly search and find all of the spots with missing pieces — unless, of course, I’m writing about elephants), but it finds its way to a cohesive story. When all is said and done, the characters will get to live their stories in order every time the book is opened by a new reader, without getting jostled around on a slingshot carnival ride.

After breaking her engagement and traveling 800 miles to start her life over, literature student Zoie is ready to live her life within the books she reads and the worlds she creates on the page. She will live her life solo — only her stuffed animal Judy by her side.

Werewolf and literature professor Hugh has long been wary of letting people into his life, even for someone who’s almost 200. His life in Birmingham, Alabama, and his only two friends in the world are enough to keep him content. Not happy, but as near as he figures is possible.

Neither is ready for the literal sparks that fly when they meet. But Hugh knows those sparks mean his heart belongs to Zoie, whether she wants it or not. Desperate to prove he’s worthy of her, Hugh takes Zoie to places mortals are forbidden, drawing dangerous attention to them both.

Now, together with their closest friends, Hugh and Zoie fight against ancient foes and even more ancient laws for their lives and their love.

Enjoy an Excerpt

Stevie placed her hands in front of her as if she was holding a big beach ball and closed her eyes. The boat shook ever so slightly and then the water started to rise above the sides of the boat.

Terrified that they were going to take on water, Zoie latched onto Hugh’s arm. She watched as either the water continued to rise above the boat or, maybe, the boat was sinking below the water.

As the water arched over their heads and created a ceiling, a fish fell at their feet. “Do I release it back or will that be an issue?” Zoie picked it up and waited for the signal — a nod from Stevie. Then she tossed it back towards the wall of water before it wiggled out of her hands.

The boat travelled further down into the depths of the ocean, slowly at first — as Stevie gauged Zoie’s potential reaction to increased pressure around the boat. The water grew a darker and darker blue until the only light was what was held in their own bubble.

Zoie was standing at the edge of the boat, holding the railing, when she saw a small light. She leaned forward to get a better look. Squinting her eyes, she tried to make out what was holding the light. She leaned further forward only to be inches from the wall of water — and inches from many rows of giant, pointy teeth.

Jumping back, she gasped and placed her hand over her mouth.

About the Author:Katie Groom grew up in rural Pennsylvania, where she received her bachelor’s degree in Business Management from PITT and her master’s in Employment and Labor Relations from Indiana University of Pennsylvania. In 2016, she decided to move to Alabama in order to avoid as much snow as possible (and to advance her career in Human Resources).
When she isn’t working, Katie enjoys reading, writing, jokingly critiquing movies and TV, and campaigning that the plural of moose should be meese. She also loves to take in live music (especially Hanson) and traveling, with the goal of reaching each of the continents. Katie’s favorite pastime, however, is spending time with her beloved Shih tzu, Delta.

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