This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Read our review of this book here.
Brenda Billings Ridgley will be awarding a Cape Diablo wrap bracelet and a $25 Amazon Gift Card (US ONLY) to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
Have you ever felt like you have given yourself away? You have given so much to your families, and careers and after years of doing so you no longer know you own identity outside of mother, wife, and profession? Hou have given up your own hobbies, interests, and activities. Your friendships have become the casualty of a “busy life” and lack consistency and depth. How does one reclaim who they really are and fill the empty space that seemed to appear from nowhere?
About five years ago I went through this identity crisis as my oldest child was approaching his senior year in high school. With his imminent departure for college, and soon to follow suit, my youngest daughter, I realized life as I knew it was about to change forever. At the time, the thought was almost terrifying. For the next year, I resisted this inevitable outcome as I desperately created and clung to every mom-ment I could. Who was I going to be without my dominant role and label – MOM? In addition to that, I had been experiencing a kind of “funk” for a few years. Although my life looked great from the outside, I had this gnawing feeling in my gut that something was missing.
I am grateful to have had a few friendships in my life at that time, but I realized those relationships had been neglected. I needed relationships with people who didn’t NEED anything from me! I needed these women now more than ever and committed to intentionally connecting on a regular basis. As these connections were fortified over the next few years, this companionship and sense of belonging eased the sting of my chicks launching their adult lives and helped me launch the next chapter of mine.
Lady and the Tribe was inspired by these events and in honor of my “besties” who I call Tribe. I wanted to share my journey and help women connect on a deeper more meaningful level with other women. Connection is the key to joy and becoming whole.
As I wrote the book, I dug in deep, read every friendship book I could get my hands on, and did lots of research on loneliness. That empty feeling in my gut that was filled by deepening relationships was called loneliness. I was living to be of service to others and their interests but not at all connected to my own. I was surrounded by people and responsibilities yet felt detached, not understood, and emotionally isolated.
Lady and the Tribe is about the woman and her inner circle of friendships. Our best friends see us more clearly than we see ourselves and are representations and extensions of our individuality. They are our companions, cheerleaders, counselors, and always in our corner. They are the branches of our individual “Tree of Life” lifting and supporting us so we can flourish. Tribe is the family with whom we choose to live our life… with no strings attached.
Lady and the Tribe is a blueprint for building deep connections. The book shares how to find, nurture and deepen friendships creating a Tribe culture. We can become whole again through connection. Whether you already have strong friendships or are starting from scratch, I invite you to join us! If you would like to learn more about the book visit LadyandtheTribe.com. There you can sign up to start your own Tribe Inner Circle and receive Tribe-building tips. When three or more gather, we are Tribe.
All my love,
Brenda Billings Ridgley
Wives, mothers, and career women—we have all fallen victim to the silent epidemic that is, literally . . . letting ourselves go. Not the makeup free, yoga pants, weight gain routine. Little by little, we have allowed our preferences, interests, and individuality to slip away until we no longer recognize ourselves outside of our role as wives, mothers, or professionals. Who we are has become what we do.
In the process, our friendships have become the casualty of a “busy life” and lack consistency and depth. We have a gaping hole inside us that longs to be filled. How do we reclaim who we really are and fill this empty space that seemed to appear from nowhere? The answer lies in our Tribe. Our best friends see us more clearly than we see ourselves and are representations and extensions of our individuality. They are our companions, cheerleaders, and counselors—always in our corner. They are the branches of our tree of life that lift and support us, so we can flourish. Our Tribe is the family with whom we choose to live our life . . . with no strings attached.
Lady and the Tribe is a blueprint for building deep connections. As you read, you’ll be swept away on a journey of friendship as the author shares her own personal stories and those of other women. In the process, you’ll discover how to find, nurture, and deepen friendships and create a Tribe culture that is unique to you.
We can become whole again through the power of connection.
When three or more gather, we are Tribe.
Enjoy an Excerpt
Today, a dichotomy exists between our concurrent hyper connectedness—the immediate and ongoing ability to check up on faraway friends via social media—and our elevated sense of emotional alienation. Add to that, we as a culture are so focused on career success, financial accomplishments, and family milestones that we often lack the time and energy to connect with others beyond those arenas. Despite being surrounded by people, places and things, somehow we are left feeling alone. We are not alone because we lack relationships. We are alone because these relationships lack depth, knowledge, and certainty. In his column, “Loneliness is Killing Us,” George Monbiot suggests that, much as we labeled the Stone Age, Iron Age, Space Age, and Information Age, this era will be called “The Age of Loneliness.”
Almost without noticing, we have distanced ourselves from the people who choose to love us without obligation. These closest personal friendships are ever present—yet do not demand our time. They are an advocate in our corner, mirroring back to us who we really are. This neglect is not without a price. We must actively seek, grow, and maintain these relationships. If we fail, we won’t just lose a friend—we’ll lose a piece of ourselves.
The wonderful thing is that no matter where you are right now with your relationships, you can exponentially improve your connections by deciding to give them a little more attention and intention.
About the Author: 
BRENDA RIDGLEY is an author, speaker, and girlfriend guru who loves helping women connect, find success, and discover joy through friendship. Her mission is to start a movement: women coming together to build thousands of new Lady Tribes around the globe. Through her workshops, vlogs, blogs, and book clubs, Brenda helps women connect and communicate with respect, love, and trust. She holds an MA in human resources and has spent decades cultivating her own Tribe. A Colorado girl at heart, Brenda lives in the Carbon Valley area with her husband, Parker, two kids, Parker Jr. and Gillian, and pooch, Perry. She enjoys hiking and has conquered Longs Peak and several other 14’ers.
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