Winter Blogfest: Jessica Coulter Smith

This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win an Ebook copy and Spotify audio code of Intergalactic Brides book 1 – Brielle and the Alien Geek.

This is one of my favorite times of year.

When I was little, my grandmother on my dad’s side would make both chocolate fudge and peanut butter fudge. My grandmother on my mom’s side would bake a Coa-Cola cake. Since my parent’s weren’t together anymore, I’d spend Christmas Eve with one side of the family and Christmas Day with the other – and it would rotate each year. To some, that may seem hectic or even sad, but I didn’t know the difference. It was just a normal holiday for me.

My grandparents are no longer with us, and I miss them dearly. So this time of year, I think back on all those family gatherings, the yummy desserts and how noisy my family could be. The memories are bittersweet because I wish I had more time with my grandparents.

I’m not a baker, and I’m not the best cook, so sadly my husband and children don’t get to experience those amazing desserts. I think my grandmother’s Coca-Cola cake recipe is long gone. No one in the family ever got it from her, and she didn’t have it written down anywhere. And I’m nowhere near talented enough to make fudge. But there’s one thing I can make – don’t laugh when I tell you. My dad’s mom also made a chocolate pie. But her pie was just chocolate pudding in a premade pie crust and topped with Cool Whip. That’s the extent of my baking skills. But at least it makes me feel like my grandma is still here with us during the holidays.

Most of my characters also find themselves without family during this time of year. Blossom and her young son are an example, but no worries… she meets a sexy alien who takes them into his home and gives them the most magical Christmas ever.

What’s your favorite holiday dessert or memory?

Blossom has struggled all her life, never able to claw her way out of the worst neighborhood in Los Angeles. Her loser ex-boyfriend isn’t who she thought he was, and now she’s in deep trouble — but Christmas is the time for miracles, and Blossom needs one now more than ever. She just doesn’t expect her miracle to arrive in such a sexy, purple package. When the notorious alien actor Brexton knocks on her door, she does what any rational woman would do — she slams it in his face. Wishing for a miracle is one thing, but having the heartthrob of Hollywood on her doorstep isn’t what she had in mind.

Brexton has always wanted a mate and family, though he’s never been blessed with either. When he hears about a single mom who’s in trouble, he knows he can’t leave her to face her fate. Having a door slammed in his face hadn’t factored into his plans, but that one glimpse is enough for Brexton. He’d do anything to get another look at the sexy female with blue hair, and a body that would feature in all his future dreams.

Despite danger lurking around every corner, Brexton is determined to give Blossom and her children a Christmas they’ll always remember. Now that he has the family he’s always wanted, he’ll do whatever it takes to keep them safe, and hopefully share the first of many holidays with his new mate and kids.

Jessica Coulter Smith is an acclaimed romance writer with a passion for storytelling. Her works showcase the power of love and its ability to transcend boundaries, capturing the hearts of audiences worldwide. With a unique writing style and perspective, Jessica continues to inspire and entertain readers from all walks of life.

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Winter Blogfest: Sandra Carmel

This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win an ebook copy of Sage Advice, book one of my steamy romantic suspense series, Hearts in Danger. 

Sage Advice Christmas Blog

It’s a scorcher already here in Melbourne and apparently, it’s only going to get hotter! Much to my dismay. I am not a summer person. And although I appreciate sultry, and write steamy romances across a broad range of sub-genres, I’m not a fan of heat or humidity 😉

In the southern hemisphere, we’ve recently ticked over into the start of summer and so I need to wait out the next few months to transition into my favourite season: Autumn. If you ever visit here, I’d recommend April as the best time to come. It’s so damn pretty and the weather is the most stable.

Christmas is a very family-oriented affair for me. I have an Italian heritage with quite a large extended family, who I very much enjoy catching up with over the festive season. Mind you, leading into Christmas tends to be pretty crazy with all sorts of friend and family catch ups!

In terms of festive food, there’s always some sort of pasta, such as gnocchi, pasta al forno (baked penne instead of lasagna sheets) and lasagna; and other delicious savoury treats including arancini (rice balls with a meatball in the centre), and savory donuts, some with anchovies. And, of course, there are multiple desserts, from a fruit platter to cheesecake to apple slice to rum balls and cannoli. Afterward, I swear I won’t be able to eat for ages but can usually still manage several helpings of leftovers the next day 😉

What are your Christmas plans? What are your food traditions? Let me know in the comments.

At present, I’m looking forward to book two of my Hearts in Danger series, Chase my Heart, to be released in May 2025. And in the interim, I’m working on book three, May I Help?

I can’t possibly finish this post without some mention of my passion—writing racy, flirty and downright dirty romance. If you haven’t already, you can check out my work via your preferred e-retailer. And if you enjoy my stories, I’d really appreciate a review or two.

Wishing you and your family a safe and lovely festive season, and happy and prosperous New Year.

 

Two hearts in danger. One destiny…

Sage, a psychologist struggling with a client’s suicide.

Alexander, an ex-military man trying to adapt to civilian life.

A stalker, who has terrorized Sage for months.

Against Sage’s wishes, Chase, her overprotective older brother, recruits his best friend Alexander—her infuriating teenage crush—to help keep her safe. Forced proximity creates a second chance at love—a love neither believed possible.

With danger growing closer, will Sage and Alexander survive the threat to their lives…and hearts?

Sandra Carmel is a bestselling Australian author of racy, flirty and downright dirty romance novels, novellas, short stories and poetry, who enjoys stimulating herself and others with words. An obsession with Jane Eyre, and her infatuation with Mr Rochester, were key motivators in commencing her romance writing journey. So far, she has taken the scenic route from steamy paranormal to sci-fi to contemporary, creating provocative stories that delve beneath the surface of desire. She reads and writes a lot, frequently disrupted by her ever-attentive, cheeky cats, and sinfully amorous array of book boyfriends.

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Buy the book at Books2Read.

Winter Blogfest: Barbara Robinson

This post is part of Long and Short Reviews’ Winter Blogfest. Leave a comment for a chance to win a $25 Amazon E-giftcard.

A Yule Log on the eve of the Winter Solstice

As a Christmas tree farmer’s daughter, I am fonder than most of holiday greenery. I still make my own wreaths and garlands, and I still go out to harvest a Christmas tree from our land each year. My husband and I bought a red pick-up back in April, and in a week or two we’ll be coming down off Folly Mountain looking like a 2023 version of those little trucks that decorate throw pillows and wall plaques in Christmas discount stores this time of year. Finding and decorating a Christmas tree is a cherished tradition, and I could write pages about the history, symbolism and beauty of evergreens, but today I thought I’d write about the yule log, and the part that this lesser-known tradition plays in my own holiday celebrations.

In its earliest guise, a yule log was a massive thing, dragged into a hall at the darkest time of the year, and meant to burn all through the yuletide celebrations. Pre-dating electricity by more than a millennium, the light from the yule log would have been an important reminder that that sun’s strength would soon increase, and light and life return to the land. Many charms and traditions grew up around the log, like saving a small piece from the previous year to light the new yule log, and some of these have survived with variations into modern times. Now, yule logs might be made from confectionary, or they might be ceramic decorations with electric lights, but some people still use an actual log, decorated with candles and greenery.

We use a birch log, in part because the white birch bark is decorative when paired with greenery and red or white candles, but also because it is deeply symbolic. The rune representing birch is Berkana (Beorc), and it is associated with fertility and new beginnings, holding the promise of the new year ahead. We usually decorate our yule log and leave it on display, then remove the greenery on the eve of the winter solstice so we can light the candles without risk of stray spark igniting the tinder-dry boughs and pinecones. We have been using the same piece of birch for many years now, saving the log and replacing the candles and greenery each yuletide.

After supper, I will light the candles, and watch them burn down until they are spent. In early Anglo-Saxon England, the eve of the winter solstice was known as Modranigt , the night of the Mothers, and it was a time to pay homage to the female ancestral guardian spirits who watch over families and are concerned with fate and destiny. I usually leave a small offering of food for these guardian spirits, in gratitude for their care and protection throughout the year. Though not actively scrying, I think about the year to come as I watch the yule log, and ideas will often come to me as I watch the candle flames dance. Once the candles have burned away, the yule log is safely stowed away for the next year’s celebrations. Lecouteaux, Claude. (2016) Encyclopedia of Norse and Germanic Folklore Mythology and Magic. Inner Traditions, Vermont, USA.

For centuries, Gamekeepers have used their magical abilities to create a buffer between the creatures who dwell in the enchanted forest and the sleepy coastal town that sits in its shadow.

When Gamekeeper Stan Ross’s magic begins to fail, he must find out what went wrong, then fix it before the two worlds collide. His hit or miss magic has already led to a few close calls so he journeys to the Sacred Isle searching for answers and advice. Finding a cure proves elusive—until Stan encounters a kitchen witch who captivates him body and soul.

Lynnette Peters is healing from her own wounds, however, and it isn’t clear whether she’s ready to open herself to the possibility—or the peril—of love.

Barbara Robinson is a debut paranormal romance author who writes novels and short stories with an otherworldly flair. She is an unrepentant optimist who believes that lasting love is possible, and her stories feature happily-ever-after endings.

Most of her writing includes an element of magic, rooted in the cultural and spiritual traditions of pre-Christian Europe. She finds inspiration in myths and folktales, poems and ballads, historical sources and academic writing.

She also draws inspiration from nature. Barbara lives in Nova Scotia, Canada, in the shadow of ancient mountains that lie along the Bay of Fundy coast. New Scotland has a magic all its own, with mist covered valleys and wild, windswept shorelines. These rugged vistas shape her story settings, while providing the perfect backdrop for life with her husband, three hounds and a dragon (Pogona Vitticeps).

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Raw Silk by Lisabet Sarai – Exclusive Excerpt and Giveaway

 

 

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. The author will be awarding a $25 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

In a foreign land, a woman discovers exotic new realms of the senses.

“You were born to this. You may not understand, yet. You may not believe. But I will teach you.”

When software engineer Kate O’Neill leaves her lover David to take a job in Thailand, she embarks on a sensual journey that will change her forever.

In the glittering City of Angels, Kate becomes sexually involved with two very different men—a handsome and debauched member of the Thai aristocracy, and the charismatic, dominant proprietor of a sex bar. With Anand Rajchitraprasong, she discovers her own almost unlimited capacity for erotic pleasure. Meanwhile, Gregory Marshall shows her what she has hidden from herself: a deep desire to submit, to surrender herself body and soul to someone with the power and compassion to master her.

Each lascivious adventure binds her more closely to her lovers. Then David comes to Bangkok, and Kate realizes that she must choose one of the three men who all desire her.

Long considered an erotic classic, Raw Silk chronicles one woman’s intimate voyage toward love and self-understanding. This twenty-fifth anniversary edition has been freshly edited and includes a new introduction plus a bonus chapter.

Enjoy an Excerpt

The bare, dusty area at the top of the steps was crowded with food vendors and tuk tuks, three-wheeled, open-air taxis that were basically a motorized adaptation of a rickshaw. The drivers were aggressive, competitive and friendly.

“Tuk tuk?” they called.

“One hundred baht for the day!”

“I take you, show you everything. Only eighty baht!”

“Come, madam, sir, let me take you in my tuk tuk!”

Anand turned to Kate. “Shall we hire a tuk tuk, or walk? The ruins are fairly spread out, but you get a much better sense of the scale of Ayuthaya’s former magnificence on foot.”

“Let’s walk,” she replied.

“Fine. Then we will need some supplies.” He visited a couple of the stalls and in short order had acquired a bottle of water, a bag of crispy fried bananas, and two straw hats. Donning the hats, they set off down the road that bordered the river.

Before long, they reached a half-tumbled brick wall, overrun with luxuriant vines. Fragments of stone sculpture were strewn around it—a graceful hand, the folds of a robe, part of a set of legs frozen in a full lotus position. Behind the wall, Katherine could see a precariously leaning tower and a set of broken columns, equally festooned with greenery.

“This was Wat Mahatat,” said Anand. “One of the grandest temples in the city. At one time its tower, or prang, was nearly fifty meters high.”

About the Author Lisabet Sarai became addicted to words at an early age. She began reading when she was four. She wrote her first story at five years old and her first poem at seven. Since then, she has written plays, tutorials, scholarly articles, marketing brochures, software specifications, self-help books, press releases, a five-hundred page dissertation, and lots of erotica and erotic romance, in nearly every sub-genre—paranormal, scifi, ménage, BDSM, GLBT, and more.

Twenty-five years ago, Lisabet published her first novel, the exuberantly erotic romance Raw Silk. The 2024 edition of this classic introduces a new generation of readers to this intense chronicle of one woman’s sensual journey.

Lisabet lives in Southeast Asia with her husband of over forty years and several rescue cats, where she pursues an occupation completely unrelated to her literary endeavors.

You’ll find information and excerpts from all Lisabet’s books on her website, along with more than fifty free stories and lots more. At her blog Beyond Romance, she shares her philosophy and her news and hosts lots of other great authors. She’s also on Goodreads, BookBub and Twitter.

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Buy the book at Amazon, Amazon CA, Amazon UK, BookBub, Kinky Literature, or Smashwords.

Writing Tips for Authors by Denise Alicea – Guest Blog and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Denise Alicea will be awarding a $15 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Writing Tips for Authors
Here are my tips for writers below.

Read Widely
Immerse yourself in various genres and styles to expand your literary horizons.

Write Consistently
Establish a regular writing schedule and stick to it. Touch your work daily, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Find Your Voice
Don’t try to imitate others. Develop your unique writing style and perspective.

Embrace the First Draft
Allow yourself to write imperfectly. The first draft is about getting your ideas down.

Show, Don’t Tell
Use vivid descriptions and sensory details to bring your story to life.

Edit Ruthlessly
Be willing to “kill your darlings” and cut anything that doesn’t serve the story.

Seek Feedback
Connect with other writers and find beta readers to provide constructive criticism.

Keep Learning
Attend writing workshops, read craft books, and continuously work on improving your skills.

Remember, every writer starts somewhere. Keep writing, stay persistent, and your skills will grow with practice.

It is Christmas. Apollo, sleeping on his new cushion, is a rescue cat who has just found his forever home. He is surprised to hear a man coming down the chimney, but his first sight of Santa Claus reassures him that this man is friendly. They talk for a while, and Santa Claus explains who he is and what Christmas is all about. Apollo listens carefully and has just one wish – that all cats everywhere could be as lucky and cared for as he is. Will his wish come true? Read on and find out all about Santa Claws!

About the Author: Born in Manhattan and raised in Connecticut, Denise Alicea started writing when drawing and painting simply weren’t enough. A writer of poetry, fantasy, time travel, romance and more, Denise has won several awards and has had several finalist nominations. She loves technology, reading, watching movies, and managing her blog over at The Pen & Muse Book Reviews

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Mindcraft by Darryl Vidal – Spotlight and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. Darryl Vidal will be awarding a $25 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

On the eve of the Global MindCraft Universe Challenge, Justin Turner, a teenage master of the titular virtual reality game, and his friends (known online as the Digital Mavericks) discover a sinister underbelly within the MindCraft Universe that may use artificial intelligence and virtual manipulation to end the world as we know it.

Enjoy an Excerpt

A neon blue sky with puffy white cumuli-nimbus clouds provided the background for a grassy landscape speckled with pastel flowers. Eucalyptus trees lined the sides of some sort of football or soccer field. In the distance, hundreds of armored medieval warriors came thundering down the hills, shields and swords in hand.

They were storming toward a massive medieval castle of limestone and granite stretching across the near end of the playing field; a vast mote surrounding it. The massive walls stretched twenty to thirty feet high, which normally provided sanctuary from siege. But in this instance, a large hole had been blown through the castle walls with granite boulders, near the gates and bridge that secured entry into the castle.

A closer group of workers and warriors, commanded by the screaming artillery master and aided with oxen, moved giant catapults away from the castle walls to expose the holes for the armored warriors coming down the hill. Next, they started loading giant balls of pitch, a thick black tarry substance, to be set on fire and launched over the castle walls.

Justin Turner, in full VR regalia, used his hand controllers to assemble 3D blocks to repair the wall before the hordes of warriors arrived. The glow of the forty-two-inch curved gaming monitor cast an illuminating light on his determined expression. In the virtual realm of MindCraft, Justin went by the handle ByteMaster, due to countless strategic victories and an uncanny ability to outsmart opponents.

About the Author:

Darryl Vidal is an accomplished entrepreneur, author and education technology consultant with over 30 years of experience working with the largest school districts in Southern California. He is a futurist and fan of Artificial Intelligence, and an avid reader of the sciences, philosophy, and techno-thrillers.

He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Information Management and a Master’s Degree (MA Ed) in Education (Instructional Technology) from California State University, San Bernardino. He has also published eight critically acclaimed books on Educational Technology, Ed Tech Strategic Planning and Digital Transformation, and has developed the formal strategic planning and project management methodology known as MapIT.

Darryl has been a student and teacher of the art of Kenpo Karate for over 50 years. He has been teaching Karate in Murrieta for the city’s Parks and Recreation Department for the past 30+ years. He also founded and heads the Murrieta Stick Fighting Club (Filipino Martial Arts). This has led to him earning the highest honor given in martial arts when he was promoted to Grandmaster – Ju Dan, 10th Degree Black Belt in 2012.

He is widely known for his appearance in 1984’s The Karate Kid, playing himself in the tournament semi-finals, as well as acting as a stunt-double for Pat Morita (Mr. Miyagi). He is also credited with inventing the iconic Crane Kick.

MindCraft: The Educational Singularity is Darryl’s second novel in over twenty years and his first science fiction endeavor.

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Buy the book at Amazon.


My Top Five Embarrassing Moments by April Farlow

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. The author will be awarding a $15 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Top Five Embarrassing Moments

I absolutely love this topic! My top five embarrassing situations – let’s go!

• I’ll start by going way back to Christmas when I think I was 7. I guess I have always loved a stage, but it helps if you know what you are doing when you perform. Without telling my mom, my best friend and I made up invitations for all of the neighbors on our road to come to a “Christmas Pageant.” We dreamed up costumes and finally my mom figured out our plans, but the invitations were out! We wrote out programs and all of the kids had a part. That would have been cute, but I decided we should have music to follow. I had taken a few piano lessons but could not play a note. Even still, I was the pianist and lead singer taking it all seriously and “playing the piano” for everyone to sing along. This went on and on until my mom had to encourage me to let some of the other kids play songs too.

It is the laugh of every Christmas over 30 years later!

• Keeping on stage, I teach communication classes for business leaders. In one class, I was teaching about being expressive with your hands and body language and all of the participants had to act out skits. I was at the front of the room demonstrating their assignment for a skit called “Marvelous Martha.” It started, “Come one, come all to see Marvelous Martha jump from a fifty-foot ladder into one tiny pool of water.” For this skit, you raise your hands really high to demonstrate the fifty-foot ladder and then squat down to show the tiny pool of water. Just as I squatted, I could hear my pants splitting. There were 12 police officers on the front rows and the look of shock and laughter made it very clear we all knew what happened.

I kept my back to the front of the room, invited the other instructor up to keep the session going and went to the bathroom with my back facing the wall. When I got to the bathroom, it turned out it was just the lining inside my pants, but everyone in the room knew what had happened. They were as surprised as I was when I returned to the room in the same outfit. We laughed about it and moved on, but I feel sure if you ask anyone who attended that class they remember that moment above anything else they learned!

• One of my girls went to a Birthday party and I was “regifting” our present. The problem, I didn’t realize they had put their name inside the tag on the ear. I was standing at the back of the party when the mom said, “who is this from, we can’t find a name?” When I saw what she was holding up and then saw her get really quiet I just slipped to the bathroom and acted like I didn’t know anything about it. So embarrassing!

• Years ago, I was in a tanning bed. It was one where there were a lot of small rooms lined up with thin walls that didn’t go all the way to the floor or ceiling. I was laying in the bed with the timer on when I heard someone open the door to my room and come inside. I was horrified because I knew I would have to get out to get my clothes, so I was loud when I said, “get out!” “I am in here, please get out.” “I am not dressed, please leave.” You don’t need me to finish the story because you already know what I missed. It was the next room over and there were a bunch of guys there working on the bed next door. They just looked at me and smiled as I walked out the door.

• When I started dating my husband, I heard about his family sing-a-longs and was excited to hear all of the music. We went to my in-law’s cabin, and it was the second time I had met everyone and so I wanted to get everything right. When the music started, I could tell that not everyone knew the words to the song I requested and so I started singing along with gusto. My husband is the best and always positive, so he didn’t mean it mean when he said it, but he turned around and whispered, “give us just a minute baby, we are trying to get the chords.” The problem, I wasn’t the only one sitting right behind him and so we all heard. It is still a joke every Saturday night that I have the words but never the notes!

I’d love for you to share your embarrassing moments, and if you want to hear more real, vulnerable stories from my life, I hope you will read “Pieces of You.” The book is written to help you discover who you are in light of Whose you are and there is plenty I have learned about myself through laughter and some hard along the way!

Knowing who you are has always been challenging, and in today’s world, more and more voices are coming from more and more places telling us who we should be. The result? A broken sense of identity that we’re struggling to put back together.

In Pieces of You, April Farlow shares how she discovered her identity is formed by the God who made her. Along the way, she’s learned that if we want to put the pieces of who we are together in a real, lasting way, we have to look to Whose we are for help.

It’s time to take a look at the unique pieces that make up who you are …

The pieces you compare …
The pieces informed by the father figure in your life …
The painful pieces …
The pieces of your relationships …
The pieces on which you’ve built your beliefs …
The pieces that give you rules and boundaries …
The pieces that show what you value …
The pieces that give you purpose …
The pieces that help you build a vision for what’s to come.

As we work to put those pieces together, we’ll look to the God who made us, knows us, and loves us to guide us. Because when you take all your pieces—the good, the bad, the broken, and the beautiful—and place them in your Heavenly Father’s hands, there, you’ll find peace. There, you’ll find security. There, you’ll find a real sense of who you are and Whose you are.

Enjoy an Excerpt

Over just a few hours, my Kaleidoscopes began to lean into each other’s stories. Things got real fast. And I think that’s because we took a break from measuring ourselves against each other. Instead of comparing, we chose to share.

And that’s a great place to start.

To stand confidently in both who you are and Whose you are, you must first learn to avoid the temptation to compare. Staying out of the comparison trap is an essential piece of the puzzle that is discovering and embracing our identity.

After our meeting, my friend Angela went home and looked in her daughter’s school folder. There, she found a worksheet her seven-year-old, Elle, had filled out. “Color yourself and then write words to describe yourself in the circles,” the instructions said across the top. That’s precisely what Elle did. She colored her hair and eyes to match hers and wrote six words to describe herself.

Funny
Artistic
Pretty
Love
Kind
Smart

For Angela, her daughter’s list was not only accurate, but it was also a stark contrast to the list she and the other women had made. Angela told me about it later: “I wonder at what age we stop believing the good? I wonder what happens to cause us to begin seeing the negative before the positive?”

I wonder the same for all of us.

About the Author: April Farlow has spent the last 20 years motivating audiences to get out of their comfort zone, speak up, and represent their values. In corporate environments, one piece is missed—the ability to talk about forming your identity in God. Today, as a speaker, author, coach, and non-profit leader, April is changing this by sharing her faith journey and helping others do the same with clarity and conviction.

In 2017, after speaking to a group of foster youth, April founded Lydia’s Place, a ministry serving young adults who have experienced foster care or homelessness. April and her husband have four girls and live on a mini-farm outside of Athens, Georgia.

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Buy the book at Amazon.

Pondering the Muse: Or the Care and Feeding of the Elf in Your Attic by Dorothy Rosby – Guest Blog and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. The author will be awarding a $20 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Pondering the Muse: Or the Care and Feeding of the Elf in Your Attic

A presenter at a creativity workshop I attended described her muse with a word that would have been bleeped if she’d said it on television. I was stunned. Not about the word. I’ve heard it before. I may have even said it before.

No, I was shocked that she’d speak about her muse that way and still expect it to come back. But she said her source of inspiration is spoiled and has to be reminded who’s boss.

Another presenter described her muse more kindly. She said hers was like a beautiful angel. Mine isn’t nearly that elegant. I think of my muse as sort of an elf in my attic. She’s playful, mischievous and a little unreliable. And taking good care of her is important because I’m not only an author, I’m a columnist with regular deadlines. I can’t afford to run out of ideas.

I think we all have a muse of some sort, whatever type of work we do. We’re driving somewhere or dozing off at night and suddenly we have a brilliant idea for a poem or a new casserole or an invention that will not only fold our laundry but put it away too. The muse has just visited. And it’s so magical that we wish our elf or angel or BLEEPED would come bearing gifts more often. Unfortunately, we can’t just snap our fingers and get them to show up. But I do think there are things we can do to encourage them.

For one thing, while my elf only comes down from the attic when she’s darn good and ready to, she expects me to work every day whether I’m feeling inspired or not. She won’t just waltz in with a good idea if I sit on the couch eating corn chips and watching Monk reruns all day. I know. I’ve tried that.

And she doesn’t want to be around me when I’m tired and grumpy either. I can’t blame her for that. Nobody else does either.

But I think everyone’s muse is like that. They’re more likely to bring us ideas when we’re well rested, but they still get a kick out of stopping by just as we’re dozing off. Then we have to fumble for a pen and paper or our phone to write down the brilliant idea they brought us. And when our spouse complains, we mumble something about elves or angels or worse and then they’re as inspired as we are. Not really.

But we do have to make a note of the big ideas when our muse brings them, which she does at the most inconvenient times—when we’re showering, having our teeth cleaned or rappelling off a cliff. She expects us to stop whatever we’re doing and make a note. And if we don’t, she takes the idea away and it’s gone, maybe forever. That explains why there still isn’t a gizmo that will fold and put away our laundry.

Sometimes I wonder if our muses may even give their big ideas to someone else if we ignore them. Or worse, maybe they stop visiting altogether if we snub them too often. We have to welcome them, let them in every time they knock. We need to keep a notebook by the bed, in our purse and in our shower. No maybe not there.

Sometimes I make a note in my phone, but I used the notebook I carry in my purse the strangest time my muse showed up. I was parked by the side of the road, not because the muse had arrived while I’d been driving but because I’d been pulled over by a highway patrolman.. An idea came to me as I was waiting for him to come back from checking my outstanding warrants or whatever they do back there. I didn’t have any, by the way.

Anyway, while I was waiting I had the brilliant idea to write a column about being stopped for speeding. Thank you elf! I took out my notebook and started jotting down every memory I had of being pulled over. I had…several. I didn’t even notice the patrolman when he came back to my car. When I finally looked up, he was standing by my window looking at me strangely. I guess he couldn’t see the elf sitting in my passenger seat.

Christmas comes but once a year; chaos never ends! Happy Halloween, merry Christmas and joyful Lumpy Rug Day. That’s real, by the way. Lumpy Rug Day is celebrated every May 3, though “celebrated” might be too strong a word. It’s the American way to create a celebration for everything, then turn it into a chore or worse, a nightmare. ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate is a collection of humorous essays about how we let our expectations steal the joy out of Christmas and other holidays and special events. It’s understanding for those who think Christmas form letters can be honest—or they can be interesting. And it’s empathy for anyone who’s ever gotten poison ivy during Nude Recreation Week or eaten all their Halloween candy and had to hand out instant oatmeal packets to their trick-or-treaters.

Enjoy an Excerpt

from the essay “Merry Christmas from the Envyofall Family”

There are two things that make me feel like a boring person. Actually there are more than two, but the ones that come to mind this time of year are writing a Christmas letter and reading everyone else’s.

When I write a letter I come to the painful realization that the year has flown by and I’ve been terribly busy but I haven’t done a thing worth mentioning. Worse, when I read all the newsy holiday letters I receive I think the writers must have had more days since last Christmas than I had, and apparently more money, energy and ambition as well.

I don’t think I’m alone in my feelings of inadequacy either. Consider the following actual letter I made up. You’ll see in brackets what an unfortunate reader might be thinking as she reads this holiday greeting from the Envyofall family.

Merry Christmas from the Envyofalls!

We hope your year was as wonderful as ours was! [I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.] We started the year with a January vacation in Hawaii. [Now I know it wasn’t.] Since the children are both doing so well in school we decided taking them out for two weeks would be acceptable, and they enjoyed themselves thoroughly. [I’ll bet their teachers did too.]

In June Maxwell and I celebrated our twentieth anniversary with a month in Italy. [What a coincidence! My husband and I celebrated our anniversary in June too—at the Olive Garden.] You can see photos of both vacations on our family website. [You can see our vacation photos too—if my phone is working.]

About the Author
Dorothy Rosby is an author humor columnist whose work regularly appears in publications throughout the West and Midwest. Her humor writing has been recognized by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, the National Federation of Press Women and the South Dakota Newspaper Association. In 2022 she was named the global winner in the Erma Bombeck Writers Competition in the humor writing category. She’s the author of four books of humorous essays.

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One Night Stands and Lesson Plans by M. Jayne LaDow – Spotlight and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. M. Jayne LaDow will be awarding a $25 Amazon/BN gift card to a randomly drawn winner. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

In the close-knit town of Marchfield, where gossip spreads faster than a teenager’s texts, English teacher Audrey Fremont and Algebra instructor Oz Taylor find themselves at the center of a scandal—and a romance neither saw coming.

A few too many drinks at Happy Hour and a glimpse of his infuriatingly sexy shoulders lead to a one-night stand that should have ended there—but didn’t. Relentlessly organized and a bit of a perfectionist, Audrey is horrified to discover that Oz is one of her new coworkers. Yet, stolen glances in the hallway, moments in the copy room, and snarky banter make keeping it “no strings attached” nearly impossible to maintain.

With meddling friends and nosy colleagues already placing bets on their romance, Audrey and Oz can’t ignore the chemistry simmering between them. But just when Audrey thinks she’s got everything under control, a surprise confession from Oz leaves her questioning everything she thought she knew about love.

In a town where everyone’s watching, Audrey and Oz must decide: will they keep playing it safe, or risk their hearts on a love that could change everything?

Enjoy an Excerpt

“I picked up a guy, Val, and I took him home,” I said into the machine without daring to look at her.

A minute passed in silence. Sammy Kershaw twanged Third Rate Romance in my head while I pushed and prodded the levers and buttons, searching fruitlessly for the jammed paper.

Seconds ticked by slowly, and my anxiety grew until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I ducked my head out to look at her.

Val was gaping at me. Her mouth moved as if she tried to breathe air underwater. Finally, she managed, “WHAT?!”

I snorted at her expression. “It was irrational and completely unlike me. But I was blindsided, Val. He came into the bar, and he had these shoulders. Massive shoulders!”

Val gasped dramatically. “Oh no! Not SHOULDERS?!”

I glared at her. “You know my weakness.”

“I do,” Val nodded solemnly for a moment. “So what happened?”

“I asked him to drive Green Lightning to my apartment.”

“You never let anyone drive her! Not even me,” Val pouted.

“He didn’t even like her! He said she was ugly!”

Val’s hands fisted, and she hit the table. “Outrageous! What a jerk. I can’t believe you let a jerk drive her!”

“I’ll say it again. I was both wasted and irrational.”

“And hot for a bologna pony, apparently,” Val responded wryly.

I wiggled my eyebrows. “I may have offered to ride his stick shift.”

About the Author: M. Jayne LaDow is a playwright and author who leapt into writing romance after spending thirty-three years wrangling middle school English students. Her rom-coms are hilariously inspired by her years in education, where she was regularly pied in the face, sang classroom karaoke, and dressed up like characters from novels. She resides with her very patient husband, two brilliant yet snarky children, three cuddly rescue cats, a toe-biting tortoise, and a bearded dragon who judges her life choices from his terrarium.

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The Angel Scroll by Penelope Holt – Spotlight and Giveaway

This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. One randomly chosen winner via rafflecopter will win a $25 Amazon/BN.com gift card. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

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ONE ANCIENT PROPHECY, TWO HEARTBROKEN LOVERS, AND A WORLDWIDE SCAVENGER HUNT FOR THREE MIRACULOUS PAINTINGS.

After her husband’s death, New York artist Claire Lucas has baffling dreams and waking visions as she channels an enigmatic and healing painting of a holy man in India at the deathbed of a young woman. When widowed antiquarian Richard Markson announces that Claire’s canvas is one-third of three paintings prophesied by the Angel Scroll, a recently discovered Dead Sea parchment, she is pulled into an international scavenger hunt to find the stolen scroll and the paintings it predicts.

As she pursues the paintings with Richard across historic and holy sites in America, Israel, and Europe, Claire encounters a series of remarkable teachers. A Buddhist, a Benedictine monk, and a professor of early goddess worship all provide rich explanations for the artist’s compelling and perplexing psychic experiences — until she assembles the incredible triptych and deciphers its inspirational message for the modern world.

Enjoy an Excerpt

In Benares, India, the sweltering night dragged on. Moonlight slid through the bedroom window and bathed the young, Christlike figure who sat cross-legged on the floor. Only a loincloth covered his slender hips, and his long, coarse hair was coiled in a topknot on his crown. He’d been watching the young woman on the low bed for hours. She was feverish, her breathing shallow, as she squinted at him now through half- closed lids. Her husband held her hand and shot the young man a pleading look. “Please let her live. I’m a rich man. I can pay you. I can help the poor of Benares, the poor of India.”

“To thwart death is not to conquer it,” the young master said, and the husband buried his head in the bed’s embroidered cover. In a single, fluid movement, the holy man rose and stroked his host’s bent head, His long, graceful fingers raking the dark hair, slick with perfumed oil, revealing a channel of pale, moist scalp.

Beyond the bedroom, in the narrow hallway, the master found his three companions propped against a wall and dozing. He tapped the closest with a calloused foot, and one by one the sleeping men awoke. “Is she well now?” the tall one asked, stretching.

“She will be dead come dawn,” his master whispered, as the four men stepped into the dusty and deserted Indian night.

The phone rang. Claire woke up and realized her face was wet. She’d been crying again. She eyed the clock—9 a.m. She cleared her throat, picked up the phone, and tried to sound awake. “Hello?”

“You still sleeping?” Claire held the phone away from her ear to stop Deirdre Vetch’s whine from piercing her brain. “You’re coming to the gallery to talk about the painting, right? We must talk.” Deirdre’s verbal pummeling began.

About the Author:

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Penelope Holt was born and educated in England and now lives in New York. She is a novelist, playwright, business writer, and marketing executive, whose work has been performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, York Arts Center, and New York’s American Folk Theater. In addition to writing fiction, The Angel Scroll, and The Apple, based on the controversial Herman Rosenblat Holocaust romance, Holt is a prolific writer, editor, and co-author of non-fiction, including Business Intelligence at Work A Personal Operating System for Career Success, Singing God’s Work, the story of the Harlem Gospel Choir, and many other works. She is married with two children.

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