50 Shades of Fur by Missy Barkalot – Spotlight and Giveaway

This stop is part of a tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.  The author will be awarding a signed copy of 50 Shades of Fur by Missy Barkalot, as told to Belinda Stevens to a randomly drawn winner via the rafflecopter at the end of this post during the tour.

A delightful, yet somewhat bawdy “tail” about Missy Barkalot, a petite rust-colored long-haired Dachshund and the apple of her eye, Humphrey B (aka “Hump”), and the other characters, both dogs and cats, who are frequent guests at Doggie Bath. Missy is pursued by Ralph the Bulldog, but she only has eyes for Hump, who was seduced by the glamorous toy poodle, CoCo. It turns out CoCo was a victim of her environment, as her owner had some kinky habits using a gray tie. Bondage with leashes, bite marks, jive-talking cats and cross-dressing Dobermans – not to mention a Doggie Blues band – keep the story rolling as Missy Barkalot uses her feminine wiles to woo Hump away from CoCo. DoggieBath has a little bit of everything – sexual intrigue, rock-n-roll and blues – canine style, and of course, a little weed. This fun romp through the world of Missy and Hump make a “furfect” read! If you love animals, you will love “50 Shades Of Fur.”

Enjoy an excerpt:

You would think it was Valentine’s day, the way the romances were emerging among the guests at Doggie Bath. It was obvious something was going on between Roxie and Bubba. She followed him around without her herd of Spaniels and Bubba didn’t seem to mind. The two spent hours softly growling, licking each other’s faces and of course, you know. Everyone was happy they were an item, not to mention the welcomed end to cougar stalking. Without their leader, the over-the-hill gang disbanded. Those females started looking for fur separately.

Even Lance found love with a two-year-old German Shepherd. They shared a water bowl, and wore matching pink and purple outfits. Lance’s new love fit right in with the Blues Dogs. His name was Mozart and he was musical. It wasn’t long before he joined the group. Those paws of his could bang out some serious R & B on the ivories.

Belinda J. Stevens was born in Yazoo City, Mississippi, the gateway to the Mississippi Delta, in 1948. She grew up in the turbulent sixties, and has a true appreciation for the difficulties experienced Katherine in her first novel, “Just Out of Reach.” A radical departure from her first novel, her lastest effort is a fun parody, “50 Shades of Fur by Missy Barkalot, as told to Belinda Stevens.”

An attorney by profession, Belinda tells the story of young love and dark secrets in the world of the Doggie Bath. Canines, cats and even a skunk with a prestigious lineage converge for a bawdy “tale” that will keep you laughing.

Belinda is a graduate of Belhaven University and earned a Masters in Social Science and a Law Degree from Mississippi College. From 1987-1997 she served as Special Assistant to Mississippi Attorney General Mike Moore. She resides in Brandon, Mississippi with her dog Humprey B., and practices law in Yazoo City where she is a Public Defender.

Learn more about Belinda at www.belindastevens.com, or follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/belindastevensauthor.

You can order her book at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=50%20Shades%20of%20Fur%2C%20Belinda%20Stevens

C.C. Humphreys — a guest blog

It is one of my favourite opening lines: “The End of Time came on a Wednesday – and Jack was missing it.”

As soon as I read that the English finally caught up with Continental time and switched from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar in 1752 I knew I wanted to write about it. It would provide the perfect start to my depiction of Jack, in that year a semi-feral abandoned child living with his wicked Uncle in Cornwall. He would not understand why they had to take away 11 days to balance the calendars. He would just want to greet the change in a typically English fashion: by rioting! ‘Give us back our 11 days’ was the cry as tax offices were burned and unlucky foreigners tarred and feathered.

I always wanted Jack to begin thus – a tough childhood that would, in the end, stand him in good stead when as a young man he goes to war. Between which I wanted the contrast I depict in The Blooding of Jack Absolute: his teens years spent as gifted but lazy scholar at Westminster School in London, indulging in all the fun and sinfulness that the City has to offer. A different kind of training indeed!

I think that is why I am so fond of this book. Taking him from boy to man, from tough beginnings thru’ wild teenage, to the grim reckonings of the French and Indian Wars. It is a true ‘first novel’ – even though it is the second, the prequel to ‘Jack Absolute’. It is funny, romantic as well as tragic. Ultimately I hope it develops a character into a certain nobility, albeit a man with serious flaws.

11_22The prequel to Jack AbsoluteThe Blooding of Jack Absolute: A Novel

The novel takes readers on a journey back in time through Jack Absolute’s youth in the home of his drunk and wicked uncle Duncan, and his equally wicked cousin Caster, to his escape to London.

During Jack’s years at Westminster, he’s a terror on the cricket field; a dashing rogue loved by the ladies, including the daughter of his French tutor and the mistress of a member of Parliament; and the leader of a band of schoolmates who fancy themselves a tribe of “Moyock.”

Jack’s bright future is shattered during a night of revelry when his past and present collide and force him to flee England and find his fate in the dangerous New World during the ruthless French and Indian War.

Amid hostile Indians, fierce colonial rivalries, and a brutal North American winter, Jack struggles for survival. But to survive, Jack must be blooded for life. He must learn to kill.

Humphreys’s riveting prequel answers many of the questions readers had about Jack Absolute’s past and showcases the stunning transformation of a young dreamer into a daring, larger-than-life hero.

11_22 image003C.C. Humphreys is a novelist, fight choreographer, and actor who played Jack Absolute in The Rivals for a six-month run in London in the mid-1980s. When he became a full-time writer a decade ago, he decided to transform his leading man into a title character. Humphreys has written seven historical fiction novels including The French Executioner, which was runner-up for the CWA Steel Dagger for Thrillers 2002. The Jack Absolute series features three books: Jack Absolute, The Blooding of Jack Absolute, and Absolute Honor.

Praise for Jack Absolute

“An absolute delight! Swashbuckling adventure, eighteenth-century wit, hugely entertaining plots, and one of the most appealing military gentlemen ever to wear a sword.”

—Diana Gabaldon, author of the Outlander and Lord John Grey series

“The author’s affectionate, theatrical tale sets up his dashing hero and faithful sidekick for a long series. Much derring-do, told with panache.” —Kirkus

“Humphreys combines historical detail, a larger-than-life hero, clever plotting, and fast pacing to craft a thoroughly entertaining historical adventure.” —Publishers Weekly

“Although full of intrigue and accurate historical detail, the novel is ultimately a straightforward adventure story that sends readers racing through the pages of Absolute’s improbable but exciting captures, escapes, and fight scenes.” —School Library Journal

“A great introduction to what will surely become a long-lasting series.” —Library Journal

“Humphreys’s acting background brings drama to life in Jack’s legendary tale.” —Booklist

“Imagine if Dan Brown were to write historical fiction starring Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes. Got that? Now throw in a heavy dose of Shakespeare and theater humor, and you have this novel.” —Tara’s Book Blog

Play Twenty Questions: Question 13

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  Enjoy these answers from a host of authors in multiple genres, from YA to mystery to romance — then enter the Rafflecopter below for a chance to win a $100 Amazon or BN GC and more!

2013 Anniversary NON Questions 13
Ash Krafton Talk to myself in foreign accents.

Linda Palmer I plot. Is that weird? Not for a writer, maybe.

Debra St. John  I talk to myself when I’m working on a project. Cooking, scrapbooking, writing, cleaning…I also talk to myself at the grocery store, which is probably worse since there are people around. I know a lot of people talk to themselves. I do it to stay focused.

Kaylie Newell I talk to myself. But I don’t have to be alone to do it.

Judy Alter Sing Scottish ballads at the top of my voice.

Linda Rettstatt I talk to myself. And when I don’t get the answer I want, I talk to the cat. Then I interpret her expression to my own satisfaction. She always agrees with me. Well, before she gets up, gives me that ‘you’ve got to be kidding’ cat look, and walks away.

Maeve Greyson That depends on your definition of weird. *ahem*

Niecey Roy Not really, but I sing my face off everywhere I go…to the washing machine, to the kitchen, IN the kitchen, while I’m cooking IN the kitchen, while I’m getting ready for work… You get the drift.

Tess Morrison I crank up the music and sing and dance. It’s really quite disturbing for anyone coming to the door unexpectedly. But I have such fun! I gyrate and wail at the top of my lungs. Great stress reliever – you should try it. Just pull the shades and lock the door.

Anne Van I love to sing to myself. Especially after the few singing lessons I took. I’m not half bad. : )

Tina Pollick Alone? What’s that? Seriously when I get ‘alone’ time I usually go see a movie. I know it’s weird, but it’s nice to sit through a movie without anyone asking me questions or needing to go to the bathroom. 🙂

Debra Doggett Yoga. Trust me, the way I do it, it’s more than strange. I try never to do it when anyone is around. No one wants to see that.

Nia Simone  Ripping pictures of people out of magazines to save for character ideas.

Virginia Crane Sip a martini and eat almonds but that really doesn’t sound weird. Actually, when I’m alone I mostly read or do crossword puzzles. Does that make me dull and uninteresting? Maybe I’d better start paying more attention to what I do when I’m alone.

Graeme Brown Oh, lets NOT go there!

😮

Nancy Fraser If no one else can see them, they couldn’t possibly be weird. Could they? However, I do have a tendancy to sit at my computer and write in my underwear. Which is another reason I don’t have Skype!

Jeanette Baker I already mentioned the talking to myself.
I also attempt yoga moves and dance steps that I’m too self-conscious to do in public. I’m not terribly coordinated.

Kim Hornsby I’m a mother, I’m never alone. Okay, seldom. And I have dogs who follow me around the house from room to room. BUT, for that rare moment when I don’t have anyone or anything in the house with me, I sing, loud. Like Melissa McCarthy did in the car in Identity Thieves.

Juliet Waldron I don’t know how weird it is, but I talk to plants and to birds and, of course, to my cats. I have a tree in my yard which has a sentient feel about it and so that’s my particular “friend.” I don’t tell it anything about me, mostly I just listen to it. After a while, it’s almost as if I can hear it breathing/sap rising or falling. We have a lot of brush and old trees on our small lot and many birds who mark their territories with song. I often talk to them; most don’t pay any attention as they are on their own programmed trip, but the crows do listen and sometimes talk back.

Willa Blair Make up stories and write them down? Not weird for an author, but for most people, it probably qualifies.

Lynda J Cox I talk to myself…let me clarify. I talk plotting and dialogue out loud, so I can get the feel for the story.

Lynda Coker You really expect me to answer this one honestly? Okay, I’m a pretty boring person, not too many wacky personality traits. But I do have to admit I love watching Asian Dramas. My husband doesn’t care for them so it’s definitely something I do when I’m alone.

Brenda Gayle I like to sing at the top of my lungs to the radio or CD. Before I had kids and heard myself singing lullabies a cappella, I thought I had a pretty decent voice and was willing to share my talent with the world. Now that I know the truth, I only sing when I’m alone and when I am accompanied by Mr. Springsteen.

Maryann Miller I don’t know how weird it is, but sometimes when I am alone I play music at a very high volume and sing along at an equally high volume. That used to be a problem when I lived in a suburban area, but not so much since I have moved to the country. Although my horse does stop his grazing now and then to look at the house as if he is wondering where that awful noise is coming from. The goat doesn’t seem to care.

Meg Benjamin If my hubs is gone for a couple of days, I’ll binge watch “Say Yes To the Dress”. For some reason I just love watching those brides choose dresses they’ll never wear again.

Mary Hughes Sing at the top of my lungs. I used to dance until the downstairs neighbors registered their displeasure with a broomstick on the ceiling.

Shannyn Schroeder I tend to talk to myself. I guess it might be reminiscent of the days of having an imaginary friend. When I’m trying to process something, I’ll carry on a bit of conversation, at least my half and within my head, the person I imagine I’m talking to will answer. In my house, however, talking to myself is not weird because everyone in my family does it.

Lynn Crandall I’m probably like a lot of people in that being alone — and with music playing — unleashes my inner dancer. It’s fun! One time when my children were younger, my step-daughter walked in the backdoor just as I was doing the dishes and jamming to music. She laughed and I laughed too. My inner dancer was let out of the closet!

Sheila Claydon I dance. I turn up the music and rekindle all those moves I did when I was young, you know, the really energetic ones. I dance until I’m out of breath and beginning to worry that my heart’s not up to it anymore, then I dance some more. And by the time I’ve finished I feel years younger and ready for more.

Carol Henry Because of my love of dance, I turn the radio up and dance my heart out in the living room when no one is around. I watch my reflection at night in our full-length picture window that takes up one whole wall. It’s such a liberating sensation—and great exercise.

Robin Renee Ray Not really…I’m pretty much a freak all the time..LOL

Joya Fields I sing and dance a lot when nobody is looking. I mean, people already think I’m weird, why give them more reasons by doing this when others can see me? 🙂

Patty Campbell I listen to classical opera arias at ear-splitting volume. Doesn’t matter if the singers are male or female. I get a thrill in my chest that is a real physical response. BTW I don’t like opera.

Genie Gabriel Does this count? I was alone, but the whistling may have been overheard…The neighbor’s grown son is pretty obnoxious sometimes, so this morning I decided to be disgustingly nice. Whistled a familiar song as I was unloading my vehicle, but didn’t sing the slightly altered words to anyone but myself. And, no, I can’t share those words on a PG-rated site.

Elysa Hendricks I do lots of weird things (of course, I don’t really consider them weird,) but rarely wait to do them when I’m alone. Why deny the world my creative awesomeness?

Kate Robbins  I talk to myself whether I’m alone or not. Does that count? I’ve often been told that the only time I should really worry is if self starts talking back. o_O

Ryshia Kennie I talk to myself – not always, but sometimes. Sometimes I’ll put music on and dance, wild and crazy and more than likely badly. I’ll dance circles around the house and sometimes – well I’ll clean and dance. Which, of course, is why I do it when I’m alone.

Troy Lambert I have a stuffed monkey my kids gave me. It came with a card with a website on it, so I can play online. So sometimes when I’m alone, I play with my monkey online. Is that weird?

Jane Toombs Really weird? No, if you don’t consider picking your nose weird.

Jaleta Clegg How much TMI are you after here? I talk to myself; wait, that’s not weird. I sing, loud and off-key, while I play the piano. I do gorilla impersonations. I quote movies and do actor impressions. I sing the Six-Million-Dollar Man theme and move in slow-motion. Or Baywatch if it’s summer.

Wait, I do all those things in front of my family and in public. I guess I’m just weird no matter who’s watching.

Beth Trissel Define weird.

Helena Fairfax Plenty! Ones I can talk about in public are: talking to myself, singing really loudly (and out of tune), and repetitively watching reruns of Frasier. (I’m not actually crazy – honestly!)

Kelly Whitley Sing along with the iPod.
I don’t do this when anyone else is around. Not only do I have eclectic taste in music (read: “You LIKE that?”) but I cannot sing. Not even a little bit.

Laurel O’Donnell I don’t know if you would call it wierd, but I love to sing on Rock Band 3. I will do it if I’m alone or sometimes with my children. I like to pretend I’m really good and in this super popular band. I can dream!

Paty Jager I don’t know if it’s weird. I like to dance but I’m not very coordinated or good at it, so I wiggle and jiggle to loud music when I’m alone and feeling the need to expel extra energy.

Linda McMaken LOL, define weird. Okay, I confess, I LOVE to sing and when I’m alone I find songs on Youtube with the lyrics and pretend I’ve just filled Madison Square Garden and I rock out. Occasionally, I will even put on lip gloss and pretend I’m sexy when I rock out!

Even the dog leaves the room, nuff said.

Penny Estelle I two step by myself….

Isabo Kelly I walk around acting out scenes in the stories I’m working on–or sometimes just scenes I make up for fun. Like I’ll have full conversations with imaginary people. Sometimes I do this so I won’t go all political on social media, or to work out my anger on a soapbox issue like women’s rights. My boys are sometimes subjected to these conversations but mostly I try to only do this while I’m alone.

Pamela Turner I practice being interviewed. Okay, stop laughing. I simply practice scenarios in case the opportunity arises and I find myself in such a situation. At the same time, I’m visualizing. Has it worked? Yeah, it has. Not only that, but it helps make me better prepared. And no, I haven’t worked on my Oscar speech yet. 🙂

Shirley Martin Not really. I daydream a lot. I think about places I’d like to visit, things I’d like to buy if I had the money.

Amy Corwin: Sing to the dogs. Sing or just chat. I chat constantly to the dogs. I’m sure people think I’m completely insane because I’ve been caught several times chatting in a sing-song voice to the dogs and cat.

 

THIS IS THE RAFFLECOPTER FOR THURSDAY. DON’T FORGET TO CHECK BACK TOMORROW FOR A NEW RAFFLECOPTER WITH BRAND-NEW PRIZES.  THERE’S ALSO A DIFFERENT RAFFLECOPTER ON MONDAY, TUESDAY, AND WEDNESDAY’S ANNIVERSARY POSTS. 

 

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Play Twenty Questions: Question 4

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 Enjoy these answers from a host of authors — then enter the Rafflecopter below for a chance to win a $100 Amazon or BN GC and more!

2013 Anniversary NON Questions 4
 

Tasarla Romaney Ohhhh the many ways – my favorite is served on toast. Flaked wood grilled tuna, add onions, dill, lemon juice and a small amount of Greek yogurt

Ash Krafton With MAYO. I’m not insane. Oh, and no crunchy bits, either. Celery=ack!

Linda Palmer I stir together tuna, boiled egg, dill pickles, sweet pickles, and Miracle Whip. Then I spread that on toasted bread and add lettuce.

Debra St. John My favorite is a hot tuna rollup. I prepare the tuna by draining the water (I never use oil based tuna.) and adding a bit of mayo. I spoon the tuna into 8 uncooked crescent rolls. For my hubby’s portion, I add cheese: sometimes Swiss, sometimes American, sometimes a combo. I roll up the dough with the tuna in it and place them on a baking sheet. Bake for 12 minutes at 375 degrees. Yummo!

Judith B. Glad 1. Set a trap for the tuna (preferably in territory they are known to inhabit).
2. Spread mayo on two really BIG slices of bread.
3. Check the trap. If it’s empty, go to…
3. Pile pickle relish on one slice of bread.
4. Check trap again. If still empty, go to…
5. Slice 7 tomatoes and lay on unpickled slice of bread
8. Check trap. If still empty, give up, because the tuna aren’t biting on Pnut butter today
9. Substitute canned sardines for tuna on sandwich. They taste better anyhow..

Kaylie Newell First, choose a nice, fresh loaf of white bread. Then, retrieve the light mayo from the fridge. Next, open the can of tuna and give it to the cat. (I’m a vegetarian. Although, I wouldn’t normally have a mayo sandwich. Probably should keep that takeout number handy.)

Judy Alter Tuna, lots of lemon,, sliced scallions, a bit of anchovy paste, and just enough mayo to bind. Put it on seedless Jewish rye.

J.A. Garland Light on the Mayo, of course!

Linda Rettstatt Mix tuna with a little mayo and chopped celery. Spread it on thin whole wheat sandwich rounds. (Some folks add onion. I’m not a big fan of raw onions.) This is best served on white bread, but it’s not on my diet any more.

Maeve Greyson Since I’m not particularly fond of tuna, I would get Hubby to make one his uber-awesome bacon-lettuce-tomato creations on homemade bread. I would then point at it and say, “You are a tuna sandwich. I forbid you to exude the calories of a BLT.”

Laura Strickland Ask the tuna if he would prefer kelp or krill on his sandwich, and then serve it with a side of seaweed.

Niecey Roy I don’t.

Tess Morrison FIrst I put on loud music. Probably classic rock. Begin to gyrate around the kitchen. Pour myself a glass of vino. Chop up some onion, celery and green peppers. Begin to sing very badly. Drink more wine. Open the can, plop it into the bowl with the veggies, and mix in Miracle Whip. Continue to dance, drink and sing. Put it on toasted bread with lettuce. Enjoy!

Jana Richards  With tuna. And bread. Is this a trick question?

Tina Pollick For myself: Tuna, mayo, hard boiled eggs and dill pickles. For my family: Tuna and mayo. <- They’re boring. LOL

Debra Doggett With the works. I put cheese (feta if I’ve got it), onion, mayo, mustard, sometimes nuts and eggs. But not usually pickles. I like them on the side.

Nia Simone Very carefully. Seriously, I let my husband do it. He’s brilliant with cooking. Tuna he does magic to. He adds a squeeze of this great wasabe paste you can buy in a tube. And mayo. Other stuff, I don’t know what. But I eat whatever he makes and if he does something to doctor up something we’re eating, I do exactly what he does without even taste testing. He’s always right. About food, anyway. ;–)

Zoe Forward I go to my favorite deli and buy it. Okay, I can make tuna, but I know it won’t taste as good as if I have a professional chef make it.

Virginia Crane Half and Half. Half tuna, half hard boiled eggs. Add a chopped pickled okra, preferably Wickles Pickles brand. Mix with Miracle Whip and horseradish. Terrific on rye bread.

Graeme Brown I don’t! Ham, cheddar, tomato, lettuce and mayonnaise for me, please.

Nancy Fraser I start with albacore tuna, chopped onions and celery, Hellman’s mayo and chopped pecans on lightly toasted sourdough bread. I’d serve it with crisp dill pickles, a chunk or two of good cheese (preferably gouda or havarti) and a cold glass of Dr. Pepper or sweet tea.

Robyn Bachar With a healthy amount of mayo, shredded asiago cheese mixed in, on wheat toast. Bonus points if I can survive making the sandwich without tripping over my cats. I swear they have tuna radar.

Jeanette Baker Without mayonnaise. I use the best tuna in olive oil, mix it with whole grain mustard, minced green onions, chopped pepperoncinis, (sp?) smoked almonds, lemon juice and raisins. It’s delicious and healthy, too.

Kim Hornsby I don’t eat tuna often because I worry about the dolphins that get caught in the net and I don’t like to encourage the industry. But when I have made tuna for me and my kids, I use mayo, sweet relish and loads of crunchy celery. The tuna must be white, not light, packed in water, with all the water drained off. Then I spread it on buttery whole grain bread and dig in. hmmm, where’s the tuna in this kitchen…

Juliet Waldron In this house we make tuna sandwiches with a little mayo, an equal amount of plain yogurt, salt, pepper, diced hard-boiled eggs and a small amount of finely chopped celery and apple. We lightly toast bread to go with it, and then the sandwich is topped with sliced tomato.

Mary Jo Burke Rinse the tuna and flake it with a fork. Chop up an onion and a celery stalk, very finely. Mix with the tuna. Add a dollop of mayonnaise. Slather on a slice of toasted sourdough bread. Top with a few tomato slices, a piece of American cheese, and the second slice of bread. Potato chips optional, but highly recommended.

Willa Blair Tuna, mayo, sweet pickle relish, moist, but not runny. On crackers, not bread.

Lynda J Cox I don’t. Too many times as a kid, I had to eat creamed tuna casserole. To this day, I can’t stand the smell or taste of tuna.

Elaine Violette My Danish ancestors made the best tuna sandwich. White Albacore Tuna, sweet gherkins pickles, onion, celery, and chopped hard boiled egg, and mayonnaise, of course! My Portuguese grandfather always said to add a little salt to fish, so I sprinkle some salt and pepper too. Toast that bread to add crispness, gobs of the tuna mixture, fresh lettuce and you’ve got the best tuna fish sandwich ever!

Lynda Coker I start with albacore tuna, add diced green onions, grated cheese, chopped boiled eggs, a little sweet pickle, and sliced ripe olives, and then stir all those together with mayo and a touch of Dijon mustard. Toast two slices of bread, add a thin slice of jellied cranberry sauce to one side and lettuce on the other. I spread the tuna mixture on the lettuce side and then put the two sides together. Most people are put-off by the jellied cranberry at first, but try it once and you’ll be hooked.

Susan Fox Pretty much the way my mom did. This is traditional, definitely not fancy gourmet fare. I use my favorite tinned tuna (water packed), mayo or Miracle Whip, lemon juice, chopped celery or chopped green pepper, salt, and ground black pepper. For bread, I like either a rustic Italian white loaf or a nice moist multi-grain.

Meg Benjamin I mix the tuna with a hard-boiled egg, some chopped celery, green onions, baby peppers, maybe a little tomato. Then dress it with a bit of mayonnaise. If I were eating normally, I’d put it on bread. These days, I’d toss it in with a lot of lettuce and some vinaigrette. Okay, it’s not really a “sandwich” but it’s definitely tuna salad.

Mary Hughes Albacore tuna, mixed with mayonnaise, chopped green onion, chopped egg, a bit of mustard powder, salt (and pepper if you like). Scoop onto thick toasted whole wheat bread. Cover with sliced American, cheddar, provolone or Swiss cheese (or all of them!) Top with another thick slice of bread. Then broil or toast in a skillet until the cheese is gooey and the bread is perfect golden brown.

Shannyn Schroeder I’m not a huge fan of tuna, so I’ll only eat it the way I grew up eating it as a kid – being Catholic meant no meat on Fridays during Lent, so that’s when I ate tuna. I drain the tuna from the can, chop up a couple of small pickles and mix it in the tuna. Then I add mayonnaise. The bread for the sandwich has to be toasted. When the toast is ready, I spread on the tuna and cut the sandwich in half. I NEVER deviate from this (right down to cutting it in half).

Denise Golinowski Hmm, pretty basic really. Open a can of tuna (in water) and drain thoroughly. Dump into a bowl. Add Mayo until it reaches the correct consistency. Cover and refrigerate. Can eat immediately, but I like it best the next day. Take out of the fridge, spread a thick layer on bread, salt & pepper to taste. Cut in halves. Place on a nice plate, add extra crunchy potato chips and enjoy!

Lynn Crandall Tuna sandwiches are at the top of my list of favorite sandwiches. I’m pretty easy to please there, and typically mix tuna with mayonnaise, put it on toast with lettuce and enjoy. But my favorite way to make a tuna sandwich is to order it from the bread store/deli, where the tuna salad sandwich is amazing.

Sheila Claydon I mix it with mayonnaise, sliced spring onion, pepper and salt and then spread it THICKLY on wholemeal bread – no butter or spread as I want to taste the tuna. I might add some cucumber too and serve it with lettuce and tomato on the side.

Carol Henry I make a tuna sandwich with chuck light Bumblebee tuna, mayo (not miracle whip and nothing diet or light), add my homemade diced sweet pickles, a bit of salt and pepper, and slather it on bread with just a touch of butter on one side. Sometimes I toast the bread first. Always serve with kettle chips, and most often a ginger ale.

Robin Renee Ray I like mine with fresh garden onions, sharp cheddar cheese, and a wee bit of salt…and I have mine with crackers.

Joya Fields Haha. This sounds like a setup for a joke, but I’ll give you my recipe anyway. One can of tuna mixed with chopped celery, some mayonnaise and (since I’m from Maryland) some Old Bay seasoning!

Genie Gabriel Mash up an avocado, add one can of tuna and Ranch dressing to suit your own taste. Have a bagel with melted cheese on the side. Yum! Think I’ll have one now.

Pamela S Thibodeaux Only 1? I love tuna and can usually eat the better part of a can in one sitting. It all begins with the best white tuna (packed in water not oil), eggs, mayo, seasoning and a dab of mustard. Boil, chop, sprinkle and mix then spread thickly on two slices of fresh bread (wheat or white doesn’t matter!)

Elysa Hendricks I can’t say I’ve ever made a tuna sandwich. While I enjoy tuna, I can’t stand mayonnaise, which seems to be one of the main ingredients in making a tuna salad. But if I did try and make a tuna sandwich – for someone else to eat – I’d use those little packets of prepared tuna you can buy.

Allie Boniface I don’t. I like tuna in very small amounts, but only on crackers, or something that doesn’t get soggy like regular bread. Speaking of which, if anyone has a great recipe for non-soggy tuna sandwiches, I’d love to hear it!

Jennifer Shirk Not to brag…but my kiddo loves my tuna sandwiches. She will eat her sandwich then finish off the rest that is in the bowl with a fork!!

I take 2 cans of tuna, very little mayo (like 1/4 cup or so), then I eyeball the seasoning: a little paprika, a little salt, a little celery seed, a little onion powder, a little garlic powder, a little fresh pepper. And you HAVE to have good soft bread or toast it.

Liana Laverentz Tuna, real mayo, a spoonful of relish. On toasted bread. Or I buy it from Whole Foods Co-op. They make it with walnuts, celery, onions and cranberries. Yum!

Ryshia Kennie It’s strange that you should ask that as I usually don’t have tuna sandwiches but I just had one yesterday. I made it with olive oil instead of mayonnaise, salt and pepper and chopped up a green onion. I toasted rye bread and voila – it was pretty good.

Troy Lambert That’s a big fish. I don’t know how you make a tuna do anything at all.

Jane Toombs I happen to hate tuna and so I never have made one.

Jaleta Clegg Open face on a whole wheat bagel and then toasted under a broiler until slightly crusty and warm. The tuna mix is canned tuna in water, a splash of lemon juice, some dried dill weed, several chopped dill pickles, shredded cheddar cheese, and just enough mayo to hold it together. I have to beat off the cat and the dogs when I make these.

Beth Trissel Miracle whip, honey mustard, relish, hard-boiled eggs, tomato, salt, pepper, and gluten free bread because I’m violently intolerant.

Heather Haven I make a quick run out to Subway and say this: I’ll take mine with tomatoes, lettuce and onions. But the onions only if I’m not talking to anyone else for an hour.

Gail Pallotta My favorite tuna sandwich starts with a fresh yellow fin tuna with a bit of lime juice poured over it baked on 350 degrees until it’s done.. After it’s cooled, flake it then add mayonnaise, pickle relish, a chopped boiled egg and salt and pepper. How much mayonnaise? ): I’m not sure. Enough for the dish to get a smooth consistency. Pickle relish. About a tablespoon full, but more for those who like more of a sweet flavor. Salt and pepper to taste.

Helena Fairfax I don’t ever make tuna sandwiches any more 🙁 I love tuna, but my daughter is vegetarian, and works in wildlife conservation. She has told me so many times about how the tuna is an endangered species, that now I just can’t bear to eat it any more.

Kelly Whitley I don’t. Tuna is yucky. Don’t like the smell or the taste. I’d be more likely to make a sandwich FOR a tuna.
Sandwiches are not big for me. Grilled Havarti on Sourdough with tomatoes in the middle, or Subway with lots of veggies.

Laurel O’Donnell I like tuna salad, so I would mix the tuna with a little mayo. Then, to pretend like I was eating healthy, I would put it on wheat bread and eat it!

Paty Jager You can’t make a tuna sandwich without adding either sweet pickle relish to the tuna and Miracle Whip or by placing slabs of sweet pickle on top of the tuna and miracle whip. When I’m tired and we need a quick dinner, I mix tuna, Miracle Whip, and relish, spread it on the bread, then top it with grated cheddar cheese and broil. Makes great Tuna melts!

Linda McMaken Take two large, flaky croissants, smoother them with mayo, add some dill pickles, freshly sliced tomato, lettuce, spinach, a sprinkle of ground parsley, a dash of oregano, and a slice of cucumber. Push can of tuna off to the side. Put top on croissant and eat.

Penny Estelle tuna, celery, onion, hard boiled eggs, cucumber, light on the mayo, on toast with lettuce….YUM

Keena Kincaid I go to the deli.

Isabo Kelly Lots of mayo mixed with tuna, toasted bread and sweet pickle relish on top of tuna/mayo. Sometimes I cut in a hard-boiled egg.

Lynne Marshall celery, white albacore, light on the mayo tuna mix. Slice of cheddar cheese and avocado – brown on both sides of (preferably sour dough) bread until cheese melts and bread is nice and toasty and serve!

Melissa McClone I don’t make tuna sandwiches. I have cats. Lots and lots of cats. If I open a can of tuna, I’m instantly attacked. Think Sharknado 2. It wouldn’t be pretty, and yes, there would be blood. Needless to say I skip the tuna sandwiches.

Aaron Speca I don’t. I can’t stand canned tuna. Now tuna STEAK … that’s a totally different story. Tuna steak is AMAZING!

Pamela Turner Open can of tuna and try to pull lid free without splashing tuna water on my fingers. Ignore cat meowing and reaching up with forepaws. Pry off lid and thank whatever deity I didn’t cut myself. Ignore caterwauling cat. Realize I forgot the bread on the other side of the counter. Go get bread. Come back. Pick up cat off counter and put on floor. Forget that cats have little springs in their paw pads. Put cat on floor again. Go get Miracle Whip. Repeat counter-floor move with cat. Shake MW bottle and squirt it. Watch MW go everywhere except on the bread. Look at cat, who’s giving me the evil eye because I dare ruin her idea of the perfect meal. Manage to get MW on bread. Then remember I planned to have a melted tuna sandwich…

Shirley Martin First, I’d go to the ocean and catch a tuna. Then I’d bring it home and cut it up. (Just kidding. I don’t like seafood.)

Amy Corwin: With tuna? LOL – here is my basic recipe:
Tuna Fish
Miracle Whip
Finely chopped onions
Finely chopped celery
Finely chopped red bell peppers
Dash of celery salt

Mix that together, put a few spoonfuls on a nice, thin slice of homemade French bread. Put a thin slice of Gouda cheese on that and broil for a few seconds to melt the cheese. Then another thin slice of homemade bread on top. Yum.

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BLURB BLITZ: UNEASY LIES THE CROWN by N. Gemini Sasson

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This post is part of a virtual book tour organized by Goddess Fish Promotions. N. Gemini will be awarding a $20 Amazon gift certificate to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour, and a a $20 Amazon gift certificate to a randomly drawn host. Click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

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For centuries, the bards have sung of King Arthur’s return, but is this reluctant warrior prince the answer to those prophecies?

In the year 1399, Welsh nobleman Owain Glyndwr is living out a peaceful gentleman’s life in the Dee Valley of Wales with his wife Margaret and their eleven children. But when Henry of Bolingbroke, the Duke of Lancaster, usurps the throne of England from his cousin Richard II, that tranquility is forever shattered. What starts as a feud with a neighboring English lord over a strip of land evolves into something greater—a fight for the very independence of Wales.

Leading his crude army of Welshmen against armor-clad columns of English, Owain wins key victories over his enemies. After a harrowing encounter on the misty slopes of Cadair Idris, the English knight Harry Hotspur offers Owain a pact he cannot resist.

Peace, however, comes with a price. As tragedies mount, Owain questions whether he can find the strength within himself not only to challenge the most powerful monarch of his time, but to fulfill the prophecies and lead his people to freedom without destroying those around him.

Read an excerpt:

Lord Reginald de Grey of Ruthin leered at his discovery. Swarming around him was a full corps of fifteen huntsmen, lesser lords eager to impress. One rushed in and rammed a spear into the deer, although it was a task that need not have been done.

“Aha! My gratitude, good men, for bringing down my prize,” Grey proclaimed.

“Your prize?” Owain started forward. “These are my lands you’re on. And well you know it. You are beyond your bounds. Parliament has upheld my claims on Croesau.”

“Richard’s parliament.” Grey clucked his tongue in admonishment. “’Tis a hard task to wield influence from a dungeon.”

Owain’s arms were locked stiffly at his side, though they had the strength to heave the dripping, dog-shredded carcass at Grey’s head. “Take it. Take the hide and the meat and the bloody set of antlers. But don’t come back. This land is not yours.”

“I’ll come as often as I please. These are my lands now, everything you see. The Welsh sympathizer is not long to wear the crown and Bolingbroke owes me a good turn.” One hand upon his hip, he flexed the gloved fingers of his other hand and nodded with satisfaction. “This hunting ground will do, littered though it is with Welsh beggars. Incidentally, I took liberty to evict some troublesome peasants of yours in the next valley.”

Owain sprang forward. “You have no right!”

“Yes, yes… hmmm. We shall see who has rights. Anyway, they were a little, shall we say, obstinate. A torched roof is very convincing. It has a tendency to make people into believers.”

About the Author:SONY DSCN. Gemini Sasson is the author of six historical novels set in 14th and 15th century Scotland, England and Wales, including The Bruce Trilogy and Isabeau, A Novel of Queen Isabella and Sir Roger Mortimer (2011 IPPY Silver Medalist in Historical Fiction). Her latest release is Uneasy Lies the Crown, A Novel of Owain Glyndwr. Long after writing about Robert the Bruce and Queen Isabella, Sasson learned she is a descendant of both.

Find the author online at

Amazon.com – http://www.amazon.com/Uneasy-Crown-Novel-Glyndwr-ebook/dp/B00A27A1UA

Amazon.co.uk – http://www.amazon.co.uk/Uneasy-Crown-Novel-Glyndwr-ebook/dp/B00A27A1UA

Barnes and Noble – http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uneasy-lies-the-crown-n-gemini-sasson/1113730727?ean=2940015940381

Smashwords – http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/252017

Web site – http://www.ngeminisasson.com

Facebook – http://www.facebook.com/NGeminiSasson

Blog – http://ngeminisasson.blogspot.com

Article: Writing Tip: A Word on “That”

by Lisa Silverman
Once in a while I am called upon to edit or proofread a manuscript that makes a particular mistake with great frequency, and I’m reminded to tell you all to avoid aforementioned mistake. Today I am helping to rescue an author who had difficulty knowing when to include or omit the ever-present but little-considered word “that.”

I refer to “that” not when used as a pronoun (”That was a great party”), adjective (”I prefer that website”), or adverb (”He wasn’t that fat”). Usage in those cases is more straightforward, although the word can perhaps be replaced by a more interesting or descriptive one.

The more troublesome function of “that” is as a conjunction, usually introducing a subordinate clause. It’s troublesome because in many cases, it’s perfectly acceptable to use “that”—-and perfectly acceptable not to. You should be able to recognize when it makes a difference, and why.

Example:
“Peter told Paula that she looked beautiful.”
“Peter told Paula she looked beautiful.”

Economy of words being important to me, I would choose the latter sentence. It conveys the same information without being unclear. However, eliminating “that” can sometimes affect the clarity of a sentence, and while you’re being your own editor, clarity should trump even the economy of words. When the clause being introduced follows a transitive verb, the introductory “that” can often prevent a misreading of the subject of the clause as the object of the verb, as in this example:

“She trusted that Ken had been faithful.”
“She trusted Ken had been faithful.”

In this case, go with the first sentence. Why? While the meaning of the second sentence will be clear to most readers by the time they arrive at the period, they will first find themselves reading this: “She trusted Ken.” And we don’t want our readers to be confused for even the millisecond that it takes them to get from “Ken” to “had.” Because confusion creates distance.

This is another one of those little tricks you can use to address both wordiness and lack of clarity in your writing. Look for “that” when you’re rewriting, and make sure it’s there when it should be and gone when it’s unnecessary. And that will be that.

About the Author: Lisa Silverman is a freelance book editor and works in the copyediting department at one of New York’s most prestigious literary publishing houses. She has also worked as a ghostwriter and a literary agent representing both book authors and screenwriters. She founded http://www.BeYourOwnEditor.com in order to provide writers with free advice on both writing and the publishing business.

Originally published at ArticleCity.com